Thursday, July 21, 2016

Ducks, D*ck Pics, and Lies

Hong Kong singles may be the most desperate, but sometimes I do wonder about Americans. Reason number one is the number of men who think sending a photo of their genitals will land them a date with a woman they’d never met. Let me explain the real sequence of events.

 Woman receives pic and grimaces. She may have even considered the man for a date until he made this mistake. She then shows it to her girlfriends who comment on the pic and the man who sent it. Neither fare well. Issues are raised that it wasn’t his own photo and that any man who resorts to this juvenile behavior has nothing to offer.

Men who are good conversationalists, high earners, or have an adventurous spirit do not resort to vulgar photos. It doesn’t mean a woman might not be looking for an intimate relationship, but that comes over time and not through an organ survey. A man would fare better with a candid travel or hobby snapshot. A woman’s mind doesn’t work the same as a man’s. Most would appreciate some attempt at romance.

It doesn’t take too much effort to separate the d*ck photo men from the non-vulgar photo men. It might be harder to separate the liars from the non-liars. Strangely, people have a hard time picking out lies in a dating profile. The main reason is they want to believe the untruths. Trust me; I should know, since an international diamond buyer contact me. I busted his story since I knew custom laws and that I knew he couldn’t pass through countries with his dog. Some lies take more work to uncover. There’s now an app for that.  

What you can do on your own is look for a lack of the I and Me pronouns in a profile. An average person would use these pronouns when describing their likes and dislikes in a profile. The difference is simple to spot. Compare I’ve always been a fan of horse racing to Horse racing is a stimulating past time. The second sounds like it came from an ad from the closest track. The writer didn’t say he or she was a fan in the second example.

Keep in mind; people lie with photos too.  I questioned a potential date, about his photo with a small airplane. He apparently neither owned it, nor could fly. He insisted a person could take a photo with anything they wished. While his statement was true, he also knew women would assume he could fly edging out men without airplanes.

Too good to be true stories are right up there with airplane photos. Most of us live very ordinary lives with moments of adventure.  Millionaire jet setters will not be using an ordinary dating site. I did meet a man from a reality-based television show that no one watched via a dating site. Wasn’t totally convinced, he wasn’t married, though. Which brings us to the biggest lie of all, being in a relationship.

We naturally assume if a person isn’t in a relationship if on a dating site. Statistics cite that an average of twenty-five percent of people are married, engaged, or otherwise committed on dating sites. The numbers are higher depending on the site. If the person is unavailable at prime time such as weekends, wants to call you as opposed to you calling and is vague about personal information take it as warning signs.  Take a lesson from the female duck.

Wild ducks are always on the search for the best provider and co-parent for future ducklings. I used to be surprised to see two male Mallards and one female Mallard in the spring. The female will allow multiple males to court her as she decides on the best male. She’ll even dump one male for another until the time she actually lays her eggs. How does this apply to non-feathered females?

Too often women will settle stating they invested too much time in a relationship. It could be true, but no matter how much time you invested in a bad relationship, it could still be bad. If an unsatisfactory relationship is sucking the life out of you, do you want to continue it? This is the time you get out your paper and make a pros and cons list. Ask a friend to help since he or she will have no investment in the relationship. Not settling takes tremendous courage. Be glad you can evaluate what is good or not good in a relationship.

Going back to those desperate singles in Hong Kong, frantically seeking someone often frightens people away. They assume something must be wrong with you.  I’m amused that I was ironically at my most desirable when I wasn’t returning calls in a timely fashion due to not listening to my voice mail. The assumption was that I was dating excessively.  As for the d*ck pics, the only one I got was from Christian Singles member. Never dated him and did not bother to reply either. This makes me wonder if a female who receives tons of offensive photos is being too sexually needy in her profile.

If you’re on a dating site, people assume you want a relationship that will include intimacy. Mentioning it in the profile is over the top and attracts the hookup only type. If a person doesn’t want any type of a close, physical relationship as an eventuality, then he or she shouldn’t be on a dating site. There are other sites for platonic relationships.