Saturday, June 25, 2011

When Did I Fall in Love

Many songs, poems, and movies are about falling in love. Often it happens like lightning two strangers meet on a ship that is bound to sink, or in a crowded nightclub in Morocco where Gestapo agents lurk or are members of opposing political parties…at least it does in the movies. The two people have the courtesy to fall in love with each other at the same time, so one person isn’t in love while the other is contemplating like. It usually happens quickly so they can spend the rest of the movie breaking up only to get back together again. If my love life were a movie, it would not be Titanic or Casablanca. While the couples did fall in love quickly, they ended up apart which is a very bad deal.

I did fall in love. I am very much in love right this very minute. I quibble about this because a recent MSN article about dating for all ages related that people in their late forties and beyond should not expect to find love, but be willing to settle for like. That’s like settling for fish sticks when you want lobster. No way, I like to add the authors of this article were a young couple who thought they knew all about love through various ages. You can’t know until you lived it, but back to the actual event of falling in love.

If my life were a movie, I would probably pick Only You with a very young Robert Downey Jr. and Marisa Tormei. Marisa’s character, Faith, and I both believed in ridiculous fallacies that drove us into going after the wrong man. In the movie, the Ouija board is the culprit especially when helped along by a devious older brother. We all want to believe our soul mate is out there so we look for signs. Maybe it could be something as small as having the same initials or both liking coffee-flavored ice cream.

I was always a sucker for a man telling me he loved me. It took me longer to figure out actions speak louder than words.In Only You, Downing’s character, Peter, falls hard for Faith. You have one character that is in love while another is not. Because he loves her, he does ridiculous things to win her over. It looks like it will all backfire in the end simply because Faith chooses to believe a lie perpetuated by her brother than what is in front of her eyes. Faith, I totally get you. Hold onto the stupid thing you’ve believed all your life instead of the very real evidence in front of you.

Like Faith, I was willing to settle for so much less than true love. People told me not to expect it. If I could just tolerate someone, maybe “like” them, then I was good. I love my dog who is not perfect. It shouldn’t be so hard to love a person; actually, I thought it would be easier. I forgot that I answered for my dog too and he agrees that I’m always right. LOL

All I really had to do was stop listening. Really, since actions speak louder than words I needed to pay attention to the actions instead of the words. I might have a guy claiming I meant the world to him, but when the opportunity to attend a sporting event with his friends, he’d drop me like a hot spud. I wanted someone to honor me. Yes, I will freely admit to wanting to be the most important thing in my man’s life, but in turn, he would be the most significant person in mine. I tuned out the talk, all the smooth lines, and meaningless promises, even my significant other’s words. He, on the other hand, didn’t have smooth lines, which was a detractor, but his actions always honored me.

Did I get it right away? Nope. I thought there was something about him I couldn’t put my finger on—he intrigued me. Without sound, the others didn’t fare too well. I found myself more drawn to my sweetie and I tried to be logical about it. We were similar in many ways so we did understand each other—not exactly Romeo and Juliet.

Even when I was out with other men, I was longing to be out with him. I would sneak away to the bathroom on a date to text him that’s when I knew. I didn’t want to date anyone else. His face was the one I wanted to see. His voice on the phone made me smile. Somehow, just a text from him could change a miserable day into something to smile about. What I wanted he wouldn’t give me. I wanted him to tell me not to date anyone else.

Did he love me then? I don’t know that’s his tale to tell. He felt I had to make my own choice, which seemed fair. After numerous conversations, emails, texts and actual dates, I chose my sweetie and I have never looked back. What made him so different from everyone else?

He always has my back, and I have his. He makes me happy just by existing. I can be myself around him. Even though it is horribly cliché, I am a better person with him than without. Love is an action as opposed to a feeling.

Feelings change that is why so many people fall out of love. In senior religion, the students had to read a book entitled Love Is an Action, Not a Feeling. Many students were very down on the book because they wanted love to be just a warm, fuzzy feeling, maybe brought on by really good skin and thick hair. If love is an action than it requires work, which means every day I commit to acting loving. Quite a concept for high school seniors, one that most adults haven’t mastered.

At in the end of the movie, Faith realizes that all Peter’s crazy stunts were because he loved her. She lets go of her belief that she could only marry a man named Damon. Faith went with actions instead of words for a change, same as me.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Confessions: Teddybear Tells All

Okay ladies, I know way more than I should about online dating from a guy’s point of view. Maybe I should say from what guys see.  I didn’t just get it from asking dates because they will only tell me so much. You know--only the stuff that won’t completely honk me off, especially if I were on a date with the guy when I asked. Here’s the deal: I was Teddybear36.


A couple of years ago, I got mad at an ex-boyfriend. In my opinion, he was the template for everything bad in a man. I didn’t understand how such a fraud could meet women online. To test a hypothesis, I made up a profile for him as if I were he. Ladies, it was classic male chauvinist pig all the way. Teddybear36 liked to watch television, eat, smoke and drink. He was looking for a young, leggy blonde to cater to him. If that wasn’t bad enough, I made him retired, no hobbies, and no desire to go anywhere. Twisting the knife a little more, I mentioned that women were on this earth to look after men. The last sentence in the profile contained the fact that he owned a high-end car and was well off financially.


I even used a photo from the Internet and it was not flattering at all. It was a picture of an overweight, unkempt man with his hair going gray and his jowls hanging down. Some of you may be wondering if I got any hits. Were there any women out there looking for a man who hates women, but would like to be serviced by one? Actually I got about forty-two replies.


First, I weeded out the fake profiles, which included the beautiful, sweet things that lived far away. Eventually, they will ask for money so they can visit. When I worked in a locked down facility for young offenders, they used to make up these types of profiles all the time. They made sure the girls were always from a foreign country since their English was questionable. Then it was on to the real profiles or what I thought was real.


Some women sent pictures of themselves in cleavage baring tops or swimsuits. Many were leaning forward or the photo was shot at a downward angle to make the girls appear larger. As a woman, I was onto that trick. Women who send photos of the girls or their booty tragically think that is all they have to offer.


Studies involving online dating show women fudge most about their weight, shaving off about ten pounds for every ten years. By the time a woman reaches fifty, she has reverted to her high school weight. Women also send photos that aren’t recent. As a woman, I could recognize hairstyles that have been out of style for at least twenty years. Maybe a man might think something was wrong, but couldn’t put his finger on it.


Men are notorious for the look-see date. The guy agrees to meet you at Starbucks, but he never shows. Often, he may drive by slowly to see if there is a single female in the place. Not seeing anyone who looks like the photo from the profile he moves on, thinking the woman never showed. Old photos give mixed messages. We all know men do initially pick a woman on looks, but she doesn’t have to be a super model. Men would prefer to know what the woman really looks like before an actual date. If she doesn’t match up to her amazingly young photo, he feels betrayed. She’s a woman who can’t be trusted.


Not all my hopeful dates were young. Some were way out the ballpark as far as what I considered an appropriate age. They wrote to me about the disgustingly graphic things they would do to please me. Why the porn filter did not block that I don’t know. How it passed over the woman who painted herself as opposed to wearing a swimsuit--I am unsure about that too. Some of the replies I got were very skanky; I felt the need to disinfect my laptop. I had no doubt that these sexual offers were directly connected to Teddybear36 being financially well off. Others may have thought they could get a ring on his finger before feeding Teddybear36 some anti-freeze laced lime jello.


The one from a widow who said I reminded her of her husband broke my heart. He wasn’t the best man in the world, she wrote, but she loved him. All she wanted was to find someone else to look after since he was gone. My Teddybear36 guy would never contact her because she was too old--not leggy blonde material at all.


Then there was one completely normal person. She admitted she was new in town and didn’t think they would suit romantically, but could still hang out. Her profile listed a range of degrees and hobbies. Her photo was cute too, but still too old for finicky Teddybear36’s taste. I thought she sounded like a wonderful person. I was tempted to write her as myself, but how would I explain that I was a woman pretending to be a man out of spite? I did learn what the other women were putting out there. I am also happy to report most women were smart enough not to respond to Teddybear36.


One of the most glaring points of my whole experience was that my profile wasn’t checked by the agency. No one checked to see if I were married, a felon, retired, or even a guy. I learned some women would throw themselves at you if you have money. Online hopefuls should try to meet as soon as possible because guys can become creative on their profile too. Usually they add two to three inches to their height and subtract five years from their age. They also manage to find photos where their hair is still luxuriously thick. It is better to meet the real man as opposed to the fantasy one you’ll create in your head the longer you put off the actual meeting.


Strangely, after seeing what other women did on their profiles, didn’t cause me to change my profile. I figured half those women would not deliver on what they were promising, but hoped to get their foot in the door.


A word of caution to online daters: be suspicious of a man who writes like a woman. All sorts of people make profiles like felons, teenagers, even hurt women. eHarmony recently offered a verification service where they check the client out to see if he is using his real name, age, occupation, and marital status. This actually allows men to date up the dating ladder because more quality women will pick the site over others because they trust it. The man must opt for the verification process though. Makes you wonder when they don’t.


Malcolm, my trusted male friend, informed me that men don’t bother with the verification process since it is another expense on top of an already high monthly fee.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

If Opposites Attracts, What Does Like Do?

Everyone knows at least one person who is married to their polar opposite, a living example of opposites attracting. Why do opposites attract? When someone is so far out of your norm, you become curious. They are exotic, more like a movie star or an exchange student than a regular Joe. Their unusual habits, accent or appearance initially brings out the novelty seekers, but different isn’t always a good thing.

We love to hear stories about playboys who settle down with the girl next door. We usually only hear the first part of the story and don’t stay for the rest of the story where we’d have found out he settles down with about dozen girl next doors because they were so easy to fool. Many times when the hormones start calling we are not comparing shared backgrounds, too bad.

You have sports fiends dating academic types who have never watched a play-off game in their lives. When the first rush of lust wears off and Angela Readsalot looks at the ridiculous lump on her couch complete with foam cheese head screaming at the television, she swears off alcohol. You probably know more couples that are ill suited than couples that are well suited. Think about it for a minute. How did they get together? Most of you would think they fell in love and I would agree with you. Did it ever occur to you that it takes more than love to make a relationship work out? (I know I am committing romantic heresy by suggesting this.) We expect one word that stands for ephemeral feeling that can’t be touched to do all the work of a relationship. As my grandfather would say, that dog will not hunt.

So what do you do? In several countries, your parents engage in securing you an arranged marriage. This isn’t a little project either; a marriage broker or matchmaker is consulted. The first thing she does is take a personal history of the client finding out all her likes and dislikes. Not too unlike dating websites with a big exception, matchmakers are not only matching you on 27 connection points, but on almost every one, you can conceivably have. It doesn’t mean the arranged match will have all of them. I never had a date that met all my 27 connection points, either.

On a 20/20 special, I watched one Indian woman advertise for a man. Her ad was in about 10 pt. font and covered an entire newspaper page. It told her basic life story, the condensed version. It also stated what she was looking for in a man, including his financial prospects, and willingness to relocate to the United States. Just imagine how much online dating services would charge for that type of an ad.

In arranging the match, the brokers try to connect the people on similarities, not differences. If she is from a middle class family, then they look for a guy who is from a middle class family. If she is college educated, then they look for someone who is college educated. The similarities automatically bind them together when they don’t really know each other well in the beginning. I like dating someone with similarities because they can get me. They understand many things about my life without me explaining because they had such a similar life.

The problem with dating opposites is you don’t always agree with their lifestyles choices. Often what is normal to them just seems weird or wrong to you. You also spend a great deal of time explaining your life choices because they are so different from your date’s. Sometimes you feel forced to validate your own likes as if they needed validation. Worse is when you hide your own preferences and just go along with whatever your date wants…very bad precedent. So, you can see why people with similarities offer a degree of comfort.

Going back to the Indian woman, her parents interviewed the parents of hopeful prospects. The couple wasn’t even involved yet. Her parents picked out three men whom she met briefly on individual chaperoned dates to see if she liked any of them. She decided on one. The story picks up a year after their wedding with the bride confessing how much she loves her husband. Could this love have been obtainable by picking up a likely looking man at the country-western bar? It could happen if we’re talking movie plot lines.

Men, at least the honest ones, will tell you they select dates initially on appearance. A man will keep dating the same person because how she makes him feel as opposed to her appearance. A beautiful, but whiny girl will eventually find herself shelved by a confident man. One of the things a man might find attractive about a date is their shared background he doesn’t realize it though. The sense of normalcy and calmness is because of how much they are alike.

So how do similar people match up considering most believe opposites attract, I believe likes make for a stable relationship. You’re not busy re-inventing the wheel all the time because you’re both familiar with it.

I dated a man once who loved his family. I love mine, but he LOVED his. They always ate Sunday dinner together. He would look for opportunities every day to run over and see his brother and sister. He really enjoyed this. From my point of view, it was a form of torture listening to them talk about people I didn’t know and drink themselves into a maudlin stupor.

My preferred date would see his family only on major holidays. Before he went, he'd gird his loins because all the old stories would come into play. That would make more sense to me because that's my normal routine. I noticed no one put on their online dating profile: hates family reunions. I guess that would make them sound too anti-social, honest, but anti-social all the same.

When a couple with wildly different personalities unite for good…it could mean they are a lot more like than anyone suspected.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

False Perceptions about Hot Dogs and Dating

Pulled out the newspaper grocery flyer and was pursuing it for great buys when I noticed Hebrew National 97% Fat Free Beef hot dogs were on sale. I was excited because Hebrew National dogs are almost entirely fat free and only have 40 calories each. Your average hot dog has 200 calories or more. That means I could eat five dogs, not that I would, but suddenly Hebrew National is my brand. When I first tasted them, I didn’t like them because they were different. A little harder to chew because they weren’t packed with all that soft fat. The taste consisted solely of beef and a few spices. Reading the calorie content changed my perception entirely. I decided I could like them. Finally, I could return to a food I had abandoned because of calories and unknown additives. My perception changed both about hot dogs, but specifically the Hebrew National brand. Oddly enough, my dating perceptions changed too.

One of the first ones to fall by the side of the road concerned the never married guys. Early on, I thought guys who never married were a good bet. They didn’t have an annoying ex, who either dogged him to do household duties at his former home or posted cryptic sayings on his Facebook page. He also didn’t have children who often made demands at odd times often cancelling any outings the two of us might have planned. Ironically, I thought of the bachelors as untouched by any woman. Let me clarify that, I don’t mean sexually. Women put their stamp on men. It is usually not a good stamp.

A man who has been married or in a long-term relationship will expect other women to act like the former females he’s known. This is, of course, his perception of women. This also explains why a man out of a recent divorce, especially after being stomped on in the proceedings, is basically down on womanhood. If his ex cheated, then he expects other women to cheat or eventually leave him for a younger, hotter man. Men milked like a Guernsey cow for financial reward expect future dates to act the same. So you are dealing with all these divorced men expecting bad things because of their previous experiences, it makes the never married look tantalizing.

When you’re in your twenties, a never married man looks like a good prospect. You don’t expect him to be married. According to the article, A Good Time to Move, he doesn’t expect it either to the point of living at home, partying hard on the weekends, and shirking the responsibilities of adulthood for as long as possible. With young men’s failure to grow up, there has been a parallel of college-educated women committing suicide stating the failure to find a companion as a reason. Surely, a thirty-something bachelor would be a better prospect you would think. He might be especially in all those Scandinavian countries where the men tend to grow up faster and act like adults. Often men, especially American men, find themselves in endless puberty never growing into manhood. Each year a man remains single should tell you one glaring obvious fact. He wants to be single.

As women, we love our fairy tales. We want to believe the noble bachelor just hasn’t found the right woman. We idealized him as if he is the Father Stag in Bambi. Nature lovers know the stag never sticks around and raises the fawn. His sole purpose is to impregnate the doe, then, he is history. Maybe long time bachelors are more like the stag than I realized. If he is looking, he will find someone. Everyone can find someone. Often we find the wrong someone because we have false perceptions about that person and end up divorcing when we realize our mistake.

Some women refuse to date divorced men because they see them as flawed. Some woman rejected them. The carefree bachelor seems to skip through life not taking on a wife, family and associated responsibilities. Often we view this as playboy behavior, which often it is. Consider that women rejected him too. The mark isn’t as visible as the divorced label. When you live alone you are used to having everything your way.

Anyone forced to play with or eventually work with an only child knows it can be a trying experience. This individual usually believes everything should be his way. He will have a very difficult time with compromise. A never married bachelor can be like that, especially depending on how old he is, always expecting his way. In a good relationship, you make compromises. The never married man never had to do this. Things have always been his way. Now, he may like the idea of a wife, regular sex, and possible hot meals, but he is unwilling to clear the space to make a place for her in his life.

In fact, I’ve found by stubbornly attempting to date never married men that they want all their routines and domicile not to change. The girl friend or wife would be more like a housekeeper who visits and tidies up. Well, most women take one look at this and hit the road. I did.

To be fair, I would like to point out my perception of the never married man is not everyone’s perception. My grandmother married my grandfather, a life-long bachelor at fifty. His reason for not being married was extreme shyness. Luckily, he met my grandmother who was not shy at all. There are men who do not want to marry, ever. Of course, you have your closet gay guys, who attempt to play it straight. With all this in mind, maybe that divorced man doesn’t look too bad. At least, he wanted a relationship and initiated it. It is all a matter of perception.

Have I changed yours?

Friday, June 10, 2011

Attitude is Everything

In the book, The Hidden World of Dogs by Elizabeth Marshall Thomas, the author explains how a tiny poodle can chase a Great Dane from her yard. The tiny dog is barking so hard that her front feet come off the ground. She means business and the big dog knows it which causes him to carefully back off. I’ve seen it happen with my own opinionated small dog. He tells my much bigger dog what he can and cannot do. Dogs respect attitude and the one with the most gets to be the alpha dog. What does this have to do with dating? Should we be barking in our front yards to get the attention we need?

Not hardly, but we do need to check our attitudes, literally. What is your attitude? How do you regard yourself? Your dating prospects? Life, in general? Are you aware you really get what you believe you deserve to get…it is a form of self-fulfilling prophecy. Case in point, how often have you gone out on a first date with the impression it will be a horrible date, and it was. If you started out with a negative attitude, you found every tiny thing you could criticize about your date, if only in your mind. Trust me, he felt your negative energy and gave it back to you. You didn’t put yourself out to be friendly because you ‘d already written your date off. On the other hand, he was probably busy trying to figure out how he could be shed of you. Do you need an attitude adjustment?

Probably so, if you’re feeling low about yourself and everything else. Beware ladies and gentlemen, you attract people who reflect back the same attitude you hold about yourself. Think of Gilligan’s Island for a moment, then think of cheerful, cute Mary Ann. I am Mary Ann…have been my entire life and hated the fact I wasn’t Ginger. I was so displeased that I wasn’t tall, slinky and sultry that I didn’t feel good about myself or even consider myself all that attractive. Guess what, I found plenty of people who would beat up on me too, telling me how unattractive or worthless I was.

My ex-husband was very fond of commenting on other women’s attributes in front of me. Now while I didn’t have a high esteem, I am logical. I would be mystified that he thought someone was beautiful who didn’t even have the basic good features I possessed. Looking back, I remembered they did have attitude. They knew men were checking them out and they viewed it as their tribute.

When I decided to change my attitude about myself, it was hard. I had to re-accept myself everyday as I looked into the mirror. I verbalized what was good about me each day. Boy, did I feel ridiculous when I first started, but after a while, I was willing to believe. Once I believed, I was attracting men who believed I was wonderful and beautiful too. It’s all in the attitude.

Some people just don’t believe they are worthy of respect despite being incredible. A good example of this is a male friend who is allergic to cats, but his ex-wife and daughter insisted on keeping multiple cats. He even had the thankless job of cleaning out the cat box. How horrible. What the ex-wife was affirming with her behavior was that she didn’t value or respect him. Part of the reason was he didn’t value himself or he would have pulled the plug on the whole cat scheme. It hurts me to think people are so thoughtless. As for the man, he turned in his cat box scoop along with his ex-wife. He also learned how to regard himself as being special, and in turn attracted a very special lady.

I have heard so many women say there are no good men left in the world. With that attitude, do you think they will find any? Nope, and they don’t want to either it would ruin their sour on men attitude. Same with the guys, you know the ones, convinced every woman is out to use them. They attract conniving women who do use them. A better attitude would attract a higher caliber of female.

Your attitude affects so much about your life. A good mood actually keeps illnesses at bay. A smile on your face attracts people to you. Being positive also helps you be lucky at anything. Think who you want to be around. The cheerful person or the emotional vampire who spends twenty minutes describing her various woes.

Positive emotion is a force to be reckoned with. It can definitely change minds, but other times it can even turn equipment on and off in scientific studies on paranormal abilities. Negative energy has no power except to bring you down. If you get several upbeat people together and their combined energy is amazing. They really can do anything.

When I changed my attitude that men are lucky to go out with me, they felt and acted lucky to be with me. I was still cute Mary Ann, but surprisingly, being Mary Ann was okay. I found plenty of men who were Mary Ann fans. It really is all about attitude.

Friday, June 3, 2011

A Man's View on Dating and LTR

So far, I’ve mainly covered dating from a woman’s point of view. Today, I’ve had a courageous and frank male volunteer I’ll call Malcom who is going to give his take on dating. Let me preface this by observing that Malcom is an attractive professional man in his mid-forties.

Malcom’s Take…
Even though women may not believe it there are plenty of men looking for a lifetime companion. I know I am not the only one. The trouble is meeting professional, mentally stable women with grown or almost grown children in roughly my age bracket. Random chance where I bumped into my future mate in line at the post office hasn’t happened yet. To facilitate my search for a lifetime companion I went online. In fact, I visited multiple dating sites which cost me plenty.

The very fact I would be judged on a photo and a profile was intimidating. Women would decide on a few words and a somewhat unflattering photo if they wanted to meet me. It would probably take the average woman five seconds to decide if I was possible dating material. It would take a woman longer to decide between a pair of shoes. I swallowed my pride and asked a long time female co-worker for her advice in helping to draft my initial profile. My friend’s rendition of my profile sounded like it was written by a female. I trimmed the verbose profile until it sounded like a man taking out words like wonderful and beautiful.

As a result of being on multiple sites I usually received two matches a day. Often the sites sent me women that were too far away or simply out of my age bracket. The sites often ignored age and distance parameters just to match me. This resulted in one possible match per week that I would consider pursuing. Even though I sent out possible inquiries, I usually heard from only one woman a month. Because I didn’t hear from the women I often felt rejected. Even a note from a possible prospect saying, “thanks, but no thanks,” would have been better than silence. The best I ever did was to get one woman per month respond to my initial dating questions.

Once I started a conversation with a woman, she often dropped all communication within a week without explanation. This up and down ride of hopefulness and rejection caused me to disable my profile several times. Since random chance wasn’t working I went back and re-established my profile in another flurry of hope of meeting “the one.” In my next attempt, I managed to keep a prolonged email relationship with a woman. I usually gave the woman my number with an invitation to call by the third email. If I made it to the phone call then I could usually make it to the first date.

To prepare for my first date, I read Internet advice which suggested a coffee date to avoid wasting money. This didn’t appeal to my romantic nature and seemed a bit cold, so I opted for a regular sit-down type dinner. I worked very hard to prepare myself for the date including studying my date’s profile and thinking of conversational topics. Most of my dates were interesting, a few bizarre, and I enjoyed them for the most part. Unfortunately, there was no chemistry on the majority of my dates. A few let me know on the first date that there was no chemistry. While another few let me know they wanted to continue to see me, but I didn’t feel the same way about them. Then there were the others who made it to the second date by mutual agreement.

The second date involved more profile research and more conversation. This was the time I try to find out more about family and personal likes and dislikes. By this time, I had been conversing back and forth by email, text and phone. Sometimes the weirdness shows itself by this time. Good example of this was one woman stated she had one high school age child on her profile and on the first date. By the second date she confessed to having four children that she failed to put on her profile. Her lack of honesty made me question everything else she had told me.

If I successfully made it past the second date, I had to think very hard how I wanted to proceed since the third date from a man’s point of view means he’s interested in pursuing a relationship. Sometimes I didn’t make it to the third date because it didn’t feel right. I followed it up with polite letter explaining that I had a good time, but didn’t feel like we would be a good match. The usual response was a hate filled email rant. This hurt because I worked hard to be a good date and a gentleman. Two dates does not a relationship make.

The main reason a guy doesn’t show extreme interest on the first or second date because it makes him appear needy and desperate. This type of behavior normally turns off the type of confident woman I was hoping to attract. By the third date, the guy realizes he can be considered possible boyfriend material if his date is interested in dating exclusively. Most of the advice I’d read advised dating for three months before dating exclusively, but then again what do I know.

While I did start several relationships, they fell apart for various reasons, someone in the past, some addictions and some very lame excuses such as going to find herself. (Are you kidding me, you’re in your late forties, where have you been?) I would have respected them more if they told me the truth.

Women often think men have it easy when it comes to dating. Most men have good intentions and do want to find that special someone and make her happy. Men have the same fears as women including their appearance, being rejected, and being alone. Men do want a happily ever after ending.

I have to admit, however, that my system did finally work. Though I had many disappointments along the way, I finally found a woman on-line who does measure up to my high standards. A woman who I treasure and can’t wait to be with at the end of the day. We had some bumps at the beginning I will admit but what good relationship doesn’t start out rocky and unsure? I’m glad I hung in there or I would have missed out on the most wonderful connection a man could ever have with a woman.

It makes getting up in the morning a little easier to handle when you have a future to look forward to with a special someone. Is there still work to do? Of course! Any good relationship involves constant care and maintenance. And yes, in case you were wondering, my significant Sweetie is the author of this blog you’ve been perusing.