Wednesday, December 12, 2012

The War On Men: Are You a Soldier?

Is this the name of an old science fiction movie with pie pan flying saucers and aliens toting death ray guns? Not exactly, but it is certainly caused some excitement among some folks, especially single women, and some men. Why? The author of The War on Men, Richard Hise, writes, “I had become aware of and concerned in recent years about the number of friends and acquaintances who were being savagely victimized by the women in their lives. ...”

He believes, as many men do, that women blame every bad thing in their life on men. Consider this for a few minutes.  Did you have a bad childhood because of a missing or divorced father? Is your boss, who is a man, an absolute jerk? Did your last boyfriend or your last husband get on your last nerve? If you answered yes, then you are part of the war on men.

Women who see themselves as perpetual victims, as beings with no power are the basis of the war on men. The victim mentality would imply women do not make any choices of their own.  That would mean from the moment a woman opens her eyes she does not make one single decision. She throws away her accountability for the right to blame men. It doesn’t change anything. It may annoy the male population, who will make sure to avoid the anger, embittered woman.

Women who want outrageous things blame a patriarchal society when they don’t receive them. A good example of this is a woman who sued when at a job less than a year became pregnant, took extended pregnancy leave, and didn’t get the same promotion her male co-worker did. Her co-worker took no time off, and served at the company longer. Not being promoted she declared was a penalty for being a woman.  Before you take her side, consider this, you worked hard for a promotion staying at your job overtime, going the extra mile, but a woman who had been off most of the year gets your promotion, or the same promotion. Would that be fair?

One woman declared to her son who had a hard time finding a job after graduating from college, that it served him right after years of women being discriminated for jobs. This doesn’t even sound like a natural mother. What mother wouldn’t want her son to get a job, and sympathize with the process?

Fox News, conservative news show featured a segment by author, Suzanne Vencker, who explained according to the Pew Research that more women want to get marry and have a family while more men don’t. I think you see the problem. Most women believe that a husband and children will help fulfill their future life goals. The man on the other hand isn’t sure what benefits marriage holds for him.

The relationship dance between men and women has changed. More women are going to college and earning degrees, which is wonderful for the women. Fewer men are graduating from college, creating more of a slacker generation to pair up with their high-powered female counterparts. Some theorists believe when a man no longer has a purpose such as being a provider, and head of the family, then he has no aspiration to do better.

Vencker believes the reason men no longer seem to care is that they are rejecting women who compete with them to be head of the household. The angry, embittered woman leaves the man with no place in the picture. The woman wants the husband, but she wants to be in charge too. She showers her concern, love, and attention on the children, sometimes to the point of becoming a helicopter mother. She tells her husband what to do, when to do it. He, in turn, becomes a caretaker of the family.

This Fox News episode caused major chest beating and teeth gnashing, but is there any truth to it? Countless websites visited by men recount the tales of angry women or ex-wives driving the men away. They discuss dating bitter blaming women, who they eventually left. There must be some validity. What’s the answer?

Do you have a co-worker who never takes responsibility for her actions, makes bad choices or doesn’t do her job, then blames you? Wouldn’t she drive you crazy? Would you want to work with her? Would you feel friendly toward her? Okay, instead of you, imagine a man in your situation.

Now this doesn’t mean all women are like this by a long shot, but already you are thinking about a few who meet the profile. This is why some men are reconsidering the thought of tying themselves to a woman via marriage.

Some men embittered by their treatment at the hands of an angry, vengeful woman  refuse to even consider dating, let alone marriage. Now, I know there are women who feel the same way about men. It is sad because I do believe there is someone out there for you if you’re willing to believe.

As for Vencker, she believes women have to become more feminine, and return to their natural state.  What is a woman’s natural state? I know most of you might think it is barefoot and pregnant. Not too many people are buying into that axiom either. Just today in the news, the United States birth rates dropped per capita lower than it has even been in recorded history.

The general view is men should have an opportunity to lead, as opposed to wrestling with the wife for control. The wife serves as a first officer to the husband’s captain. Does this work? I know some women are yanking on their hair right about now. It depends on what statistics you choose to read.  Some claim traditionalist marriages are happier. Others believe egalitarian marriages rule. I am betting on marriages where people treat each other with love and respect work best. However, marriage is becoming less popular in the United States.

 There are 99.6 million unmarried people in the United States. That’s 88 single men to every 100 single women. Women are already on the wrong end of the stick. With these types of odds, what can women do to be more attractive to men? Smile, that’s it. You’re showing you’re approachable and not angry; trust me that should make you irresistible.

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