Those of you who are in the dating market do not think of it
as an investment unless you consider the
payout being a devoted companion by your side. Some see dating very much as an
investment. Most of us see it as an expense, a large one. There’s the financial outlay of an online dating account,
keeping up appearances, which can include salon visits, gym membership, and a
new wardrobe. Then there’s the actual date itself, which you may or may not pay
for, but you do spend gas or transport money to arrive.
One column, not mine, brought up mercenary daters. I thought
I’d highlight a few and throw in a few of my own.
1.
The Job Related Date - This person is willing to
date you because you are the gatekeeper
to a job he or she wants. In the old days, starlets earned their movie roles on
the casting couch. They may still, but it’s less obvious.
2.
Dinner Date - This is a very hard one to pin
down since most people go out to dinner. You can go out to dinner and not want
to see the person again. How do you differentiate? If your ability to provide
food is your primary attraction, then your date will be specific about what
types of food he or she wants. Often, they’re expensive restaurants. At times,
you’ll feel as if you’re on a fine dining
tour of the city. Other tells are never meeting friends or family, and not
extending the date past the dining portion. In other words, if you never get
past the front door you’re a meal buddy.
3.
The Hanger On - No worries about this one unless
you’re famous. This person cleverly inserts herself into a celebrity’s life. Ever wonder why so many famous married men
end up with the nanny? Rather odd, considering there are thousands of women out
there. In most cases, this was the nanny’s original intention. There are other
ways to work your way into a celebrity household, as a stylist or a personal
assistant. These jobs don’t require a degree. All they consist of is a few
references, motivation, and lots of moxie.
4.
The Groupie – This is like the previous person but has a much shorter shelf life. These
glammed up people stay after the concert hoping to meet the star as opposed to
stampeding for the exits like everyone else. Sometimes they do, but their
shining moment seldom lasts more than a night.
5.
Social Climbers - These people know the social
register and choose their dates accordingly. It has always been easier for
women to date up. A beautiful girl could
always marry up the social ladder, but recently this hasn’t been the case since
like tends to marry like. This is a tricky one too because if someone is from a
different economic background, it doesn’t mean he or she is dating you for
yours. In fact, yours might even be a sticking point. A telling move is when
they want to attend all the high profile gatherings and name-drop it into
casual conversation with others when they do.
6.
The Classic Gold Digger – This is a bombshell or
the hunky man candy who doesn’t have anything in common with their affluent,
older date. They’re in it for the money only. Keep in mind; their date is in it
for appearances and is willing to pay the price. When I made my obnoxious rich man
dating profile, I was shocked by the number of gorgeous young women who
contacted me. Instead of wanting to make a love connection, they only wanted a
sugar daddy one. It’s equal opportunity time with younger men crooning about
how much they love older, wealthy women. (They never mention the wealthy part to their date’s face.)
7.
The Possession Date – They want the use of
something you have. It could be a plane, a yacht, even a motorcycle. It doesn’t
mean he or she wants this item independent of you
but likes the concept of using it. To some degree, it is a fetish. A man with a
yacht is hot; same man without a yacht is boring.
8.
Trophy Wife – This is a bit of a stereotype by
now. Often people assume trophy status when they see mismatched couples. The truth is men marry more for looks while women marry more for personality
and earning capability. You really should know if you’re in a trophy type of relationship.
9.
Travel Bunny – A person who has the ability to
travel anywhere with you at any time. Translation: doesn’t have an actual job
or does not intend to keep one. This free spirit can go wherever the plane
takes him or her as long as someone else foots
the bill. Travel is his or her aphrodisiac. Of course, this relates to glamorous international travel, not visiting industrial
sites stateside.
10.
Sports Fan - This person is another form of a groupie but confines herself to athletes. The
athletes exert a type of magnetic pull. Although an injured athlete garners no
interest unless it looks like he might play again.
There are a dozen dating sites out there for women to
meet wealthy older men. With names such as Gold Digger, Sugar Daddy,
Millionaire, they aren’t exactly subtle. Participants should be well aware that
love isn’t what they’re trolling for. For those who aren’t on these sites and feel like you’re being used,
listen to your instincts and your friends.
If you think you are being used, then you probably are. The
majority of people bend over backward to
develop stories about how wonderful their
date is no matter how untrue it is. Dating is work at times. It isn’t a
continual party as many of your married friends think it is. In the end, we want
a date to work out. However, if you’re being used, eventually
you’ll be used up.
