The Height Standard

When it comes to men, taller is usually preferred. Notice I didn’t say better. In fact, in western society, it is almost unthinkable for the woman to be taller or almost as tall as her partner. Even petite women prefer a tall mate. Movie stars such as Tom Cruise, who barely tops 5’9”, look taller because of camera angles. Remember the upside down kiss in the Spiderman movie. It was staged so it wouldn’t be obvious the two leads were almost the same height.

Apparently, the cutoff for acceptable height is 5’10” for men. Not too surprising since the average height for women is 5’5”, although women are beginning to push that number upward. Most women want a man they can wear their heels with. The ideal of being out in public with a shorter man is, at best, awkward. This concept is woven into our current and past society. Leaders are often picked on their size as opposed to their ability. It’s no wonder the expression that a man stand head and shoulders above his competition is a good one.

How prevalent is this idea? While we are moving into larger size models in women’s wear, you never see any short models in men’s clothing. In fact, they don’t even make clothes for shorter men. You have your big and tall sizes, but no short and compact equivalent. Even when a man is short, other people try to conspire to make him taller. People arranging blind dates never mention a man’s height, unless he’s tall. Shoe manufacturers sell heeled boots and lifts. At a photography studio, I even witnessed the photographer having a height-challenged man stand on wooden block to appear taller than his wife.

How does this translate to dating? Not very well for the male candidate under 5’10”. According to a Duke University Study, men 5’9” had to make over 40,000 to make up for the single inch, which would mean a 5’5” man would have to make 200,000, which is a major jump. This could explain why you see wealthy short men with model-worthy wives.

The same study went on to point out American men preferred their dates to be slightly underweight. This isn’t too surprising since we have endless Photo Shopped images, where even the models that posed for the ads weren’t even that thin.

The article went on to say hot people only want to date hot people, not exactly a news flash. Not so attractive people end up dating people of equal unattractiveness. What they do is prioritize what is important to them and it isn’t a six-pack abs or a twenty-inch waist.

This is a bit depressing if you’re in the dating market. It’s best to go back to the traditional measures of a good mate, which is actions. While dating, a man or woman is at their peak of courtship behavior, which means it will probably get much worse. With that in mind, don’t bet on your 6’ date to suddenly develop manners if you continue to date. Don’t even consider that you can change another person into the mold of your preferred date. It’s not happening.

A friend of mine whined horribly about how her current tall boyfriend treats her like unpaid servant and ATM, which he does.  Several people, including men, told her to drop him. She didn’t because he is so tall and good-looking. If you insist on 6’ men, realize there are only 14% in the United States, and many of them are married.

If you’re a man who needs an underweight woman, your best bet will probably be the local high school or possibly an ultra-marathoners’ club. Still, I believe, if you’re a decent individual who refuses to categorize the other gender, you should find someone to love, and better yet, someone to love you.