Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Do You Know BJE?
Warning: This is blog contains graphic sexual references that may make some women wince and make others want to throw something breakable.
If you’re dating, you should know BJE. What is it? I found out yesterday while having a pedicure and flipping through GLAMOUR magazine in an article entitled WHAT MEN REALLY WANT. Okay ladies, it is short for blow job expectation. Apparently, there are guys out there who expect a blow job in return for dinner. Really? That’s one dinner I’d skip.
According to men interviewed in the age category 19-34, they expected a blow job to be part of the normal dating process. One woman interviewed talked about a man she met on Match.com. He seemed pleasant up to the third date when he not only expected, but demanded a bj. When the woman refused, he never saw her again. The woman explained to the man that he wasn’t her boyfriend so she wouldn’t do that.
The article went on to include information from both psychologists and medical experts. The men rationalized that the women should go south because it doesn’t mean as much as intercourse and it is something she can do even if she isn’t interested in having sex with him. Excuse me, aren’t there women on street corners willing to do this for a twenty? Eyuk, what a selfish man, run far, far away ladies if you meet a guy that has a BJE for you.
Most men may have an expectation of having sex/bj on the third date, but in truth don’t want it. They don’t want it if they want a relationship with you. If they do push for it, then consider that fair warning that they aren’t sticking around either way. Many men have these expectations because they devour a steady diet of online porn, which the bj being one of the mains stays. Before you think your guy wouldn’t watch porn, be advised plenty of church-going men do. Even have addictions too.
By this time, I would like to believe that women do not fall for some of the same tired lines that men have been using for years. Men will tell women that oral sex is so much safer than intercourse. It isn’t. You will get the same infections and diseases. You can even get HPV by doing oral. Not surprising, hookers refuse to do this without a condom. Thinks about this, this prize of a man you’re dating wants to treat you worse than a hooker. Don’t even go there.
If medical facts don’t scare you. Think of the psychological aspect, women who are willing to meet the BJE, cheapen the act itself. It is no longer saved for someone they love and have a deep relationship with, it is right up there with texting. Someday, we all hope to find that special someone. Is he going to feel that special if you’ve met everyone’s BJE? Will you feel good if he has a BJE and various women have met it?
I told my significant other about the article and he looked shocked. He had never heard of the BJE. I like to think a woman who is sure of herself would be able to tell a guy what he could do with his BJE and it certainly wasn’t what he was hoping to do. My guy turned to me and asked me if my previous dates had a BJE. None that I knew about, maybe that was because I dated men older than 34 or maybe it was because they were engineers. Another reason could be I was dating men who were interested in serious relationships, hopefully resulting in marriage, and didn’t want to screw anything up by acting like a horny college guy.
In the article’s closing, the author basically urged the women to stand up for themselves. Same thing your mother always told you that you do not have to do anything you don’t want to do. Anything you do does not guarantee a relationship or that he will stick around. With that in mind, why do something you are unsure about. If you’re wondering, men leave women all the time who meet their BJE. In fact, statistics show they almost never stay past that initial BJE, or if they do it is only a few dates more. If you can call them dates since now, he has established he’s there for sex only.
Since I never heard of this before yesterday and my sweetie hadn’t either, just maybe your average forty-something bachelor hasn’t either, but I doubt it.