Thursday, November 17, 2011

Dress to Impress

Why clothes matter. I’ve addressed the topic before that men like to go out with women who look like women. A flirty skirt, slight heels, even a ruffled blouse makes a woman look more feminine and in turn makes a man feel masculine. Some women complain that they are no size four and wouldn’t look good in a dress.

If you want an outfit that will be a bit more forgiving of wide hips, a dress will do it better than slacks. A dress has movement and drapery that causes the eyes to travel to the legs. Anyone can pull off a dress and you don’t have to have stick thin legs either. Of course, you have to look for a flattering cut. Don’t be a slave to the latest fashion. At a recent wedding I attended, women of all sizes were squeezed into tube dresses appearing to be a variety of walking, multi-colored sausages. I prefer full skirted dresses that make my waist appear smaller. Heels help too, if you can tolerate them. Stilettos make your legs and rear look wonderful. It also adds a sexy sway to your walk.

The biggest excuse women don’t want to dress up for a guy is that they aren’t supermodels. There are only twelve supermodels in the world and I think eight of them are married. Their other reason is that it is too much work. The reason a guy looks twice at a woman is because she looks like a woman as opposed to one of the guys. I see women who appear to have turned in their Woman Card. Their mannish attire combined with a super short haircut and no makeup makes me wonder if they are a man with breasts, or if they’re butch. Many women believe they can't be attractive.  So why try? How sad.

There is always the fear of what if I fix myself up and Prince Charming doesn’t come and sweep me off my feet. Legitimate question, but if you do these things for you, you’ll feel better about yourself. People will treat you better. As unfair as it may seem people treat well groomed people better. They automatically assume they’re more capable, better mannered, and smarter. The pulled together folks are considered more approachable and are often at the receiving end of conversational ploys. People who smile combined with being appropriately dressed draw people to them. So you gussy yourself, and the end result is you feel better about yourself, suddenly you are doing things you always wanted to do, but lacked the confidence to do before. How is this a bad thing?

As for looking like a Hollywood star or model, nice, normal men don’t want that. Most bypass extremely good looking women because they’ve been burned by that type before. All they want is an average gal who shows interest in them and will want to look like a girl for them. That’s it. Really. It took me fifty years to finally realize this.

When I was in a boutique that featured a lavish display of queen sized lingerie, I asked if the owner sold much plus size merchandise. She told me she could barely keep it in stock. This surprised me at first, but then I considered what woman doesn’t want to look hot for her man. In turn, the man is excited that he’s important enough for her to don the ensemble. On the whole, men just want to feel special. One way to do that is dressing to impress him.

Keep it classy. My rule of thumb is how would you feel if he did the same for you. Remember the suspender thong swimsuit Sasha Baron Cohen wore in Borat? Pretty disgusting, I definitely would not want my guy to be seen in that. All the same, women do check out men’s rears. My guy was shocked when I mentioned this. What could be so special about a butt? Lots, but men have it easy because they aren’t usually blessed with their mothers’ wide hips. I doubt we toss a guy over for having a flat rear or even a plump one. What we are really noticing is he is essentially a man. It is also the only chance we get to gawk without him noticing.:) The one thing that might put a female off is the grandpa jeans.

This is the male equivalent to the Mom jeans. These types of jeans are roomy enough to hide a hammer, a screw driver and a power sander in the side pocket without any noticeable bulges. It certainly doesn’t invite feminine eyes to linger. The worse thing about Grandpa jeans is that they not only age the wearer, but age the wearer’s companion. You never heard of Grandma jeans because what woman wants to be seen in them.

Most men are clueless about what looks good on them. They dress not to attract attention in neutral, non-descript clothing. Just like the women who are afraid to look feminine, they don’t want to engage attention. Ironically, after dressing to fade into the background, they wonder why no one notices them. It is a shame. Since many of these men in khakis and forgettable shirts are well worth knowing.

A man may pull together two or three good date outfits with the help of a woman or metrosexual friend. Normally we don’t expect men to have any fashion sense. If they do we consider them too arrogant or sexually ambiguous. Suddenly, a man is tossed into the dating world where he is competing against other men who may be better dressers for the same elusive females. Oh, there are plenty of women out there, but he doesn’t see it that way. Suddenly clothes do matter when they never mattered before.

Keep in mind, a really nice man can always be helped out by a woman. Most want to be told what they look good in because they aren’t sure. Yes, they also might benefit from the help of a good stylist too. Ironically, the player who is all pulled together who might initially attract your gaze does not need your help or you for that matter. This is a case where you absolutely shouldn’t judge a man by his Dockers, or in spite of them.

Depending on our personalities, we like different clothes on our men. One woman might actually like that horrid Borat swimsuit while another would just like to see a man in Fireman suspenders. As for men, most still fall for a women in a dress every time…not a sausage dress either. I want my clothes to hide my imperfections not emphasize them. :)

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