Wonder why you haven’t found
the right match even after marriage, divorce, and dating again? Is it you? Why
does the other person treat you so shabbily? It could be a lot of things. Could
be that you have poor self-confidence and you pick people who reinforce that.
Remember people will treat you the way you treat yourself. Then again, it just
might be the numbers.
The magic number used to be
seven. Peter Todd published an article in Wired magazine that
explains statistical evidence that found people usually dated twelve different
individuals before they met their perfect match. Remember this was an average,
which meant some people had less relationships and some people had more.
Jennifer Cruise has a character in one of her books wildly dating men in an
effort to find the one. A spiteful co-worker told her the number was seven
hundred. This depresses her horribly because she met someone back at man number
twenty-three that she really liked.
Of course, this relies on you
believing that there is “the one” out there. If you go out with a person who
ridicules anything you do, drop him or her. No one needs someone who is not
supportive. That type of behavior will eat away at you like acid. I love to
read all those sentimental slide shows that come up on the net that details
what characteristic a person loves about another. Men will say they love it
when their wife talks in a cartoon voice, uses code words for sex, takes a long
time to get ready, snorts when she laughs, etc. What? We all heard those things
were bad, maybe even took some heat for having a few of them ourselves. When
someone really loves you, your quirks become endearing.
Some of you swept by
relationship seven with no sign of a soul mate. Don’t worry too much, since the
new number is now Lucky 13. Why the change? It might be because there are more
people. Perhaps people date more. Relationships are not lasting, putting people
back into the dating realm. The biggest new dating demographic is people in
their fifties.
Why haven’t you met the perfect
person for you by fifty? Maybe the universe really wanted you to appreciate
your soul mate by sending a few also rans your way. Trust me, when you find the
right one you will be extremely appreciative.
If you ever wonder why there are
so few good marriages or relationships in your immediate world, or the larger
world, it is due to a scarcity mind set. My best friend's parents never
actually spoke to each other. They spoke through the children. I asked my
friend why they were married at all. She told me her mother married her father
because her grandmother warned her he might be the only man who would ask. She
needed to grab him while she could.
Many men and women believe they
won’t find a mate and grab anyone who is willing to marry them, even when they
know it is a mistake. Thirteen may seem high, but it might be because people
have to work out issues about what they deserve, and need to look past surface
appearance to find the inner beauty.
I’ve done the online dating
scene where men only want to date leggy blondes under thirty, while the best
fit might be a thirty-something redhead with an attitude. Women are guilty of
specifying men only 6 foot and over, which is only 13% of the male population.
Consider that some of those extra tall guys are married, gay, or not interested
in you--which means you wiped out any chance of finding Mr. Right by being
super picky.
Often people make outrageous
lists of traits so they can insist there are no good prospects out there. As
for thirteen relationships, you might meet him at three or twenty-three.
Sometimes, unfortunately, we let the right one go because we are looking for
this Prince Charming type of persona. The sweet nerdy guy who opened your car
door wasn’t it. Years later, you might realize he was, but now he’s married to
an infinitely smarter woman.
Lucky 13. Does the thought
depress you or give you something to aim for?
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