Wednesday, February 29, 2012
The Cold Cut Pickup: Finding Love in the Deli Section
Louise Roe, the hip British host of the summer replacement show, PLAIN JANE, made me believe anything is possible. The show chronicles the lives of shy, romantic and fashion challenged women. The goal is to transform the female into a datable vixen and score a date with her secret crush. Needless to say, these are females who do not know how to flirt. Not only do they get come hither eyes with their makeover, some flirtatious behavior is thrown in too.
One show had the shy woman trying to pick up men in a grocery store. Ironically, she didn’t really want to pick up men she was supposed to try to flirt with them to get her in practice for her real date. It was amusing to see her hit on married men or at least committed men whose girlfriends popped up in the produce section. She became chatty with some gorgeous gay guys who gave her points for trying. Then one handsome male wearing a fedora, no less, gave her his business card and asked her to call him. Wow, it really works. I’ve heard about this before, but never believed it worked.
Bad News is it doesn’t work. Well, maybe for a few people, but I’ve never met them. The cold pick up does not exist in reality. What man or woman casually goes off with a stranger they met in line at the post office or the grocery store? Consider that you might be exiting with a serial killer, a person in already in a relationship looking for action on the side, or someone who is a clingy barnacle who has now chosen you as their next ship of choice. There will be no getting rid of him, short of changing your name and moving to a new city.
You can make hook ups in groups like Meet-up, a single mixers, speed dating, even weddings. Keep in mind that many of the people you meet in these groups are desperately seeking a relationship, and will often pretend to be something they are not. You will figure it out, hopefully before they move in with you.
A quality pick-up doesn’t happen in twenty seconds, it doesn’t even happen in twenty minutes. It takes several meetings before one person gets up the courage to ask the other for a drink. Plus it allows the invitee to get a chance to get to know the asker. After all, we can’t all put our best foot forward every time. The best way to make to happen is to target who you want to meet. You might not have a chance encounter with the hot guy in the Saab, especially if he has out of state license plates. You really have to build your case by meeting often.
Maybe it is the cute reference librarian, a waiter at your favorite restaurant, the guy at the gym who always comes on Thursdays and Sundays, the same time as you. You have to have a somewhat regular time table, to help time your accidental meetings. This allows you to prepare for the meeting by sprucing up your appearance, and thinking of clever remarks. Remember to smile, be funny, and upbeat because funny wins over somber every time.
Keep your comments about local events to pinpoint where he might be or activities he likes. You could casually bump into the librarian at the local street festival. If you’re really feeling brave, tell him when you are going and ask for the date. The worse that can happen is a refusal. The world doesn’t end. Rainclouds will not mass over your head. People who actually get dates also get a lot of refusals.
Forget the movies, where you’re able to pick up bread and delicious dates in the bakery department. People really don’t paw each other thirty minutes after meeting unless one is paying for that treatment. Remember to keep it real, and you’ll do fine.