Sunday, May 19, 2013

Warning Flags #2

Most of us understand that the too good to be true profiles of supermodels and billionaires posing by their corporate jet are a waste of our time. What are the not so obvious red flags? Maybe they would only be orange if they aren’t a brilliant red. Most single people feel an obligation to date someone. The great thing about online dating is these people want to date you. Okay, so far, but why waste your precious time on people who aren’t going to work out.
Why should you be wary of overly religious people who profess their beliefs in every sentence? Two reasons with the first being that they are trying to hook elusive good girls for bad purposes. They do not believe a fraction of what they are saying. Number two is they will expect you to embrace their beliefs with the same religious fervor as they do and will often chastise and punish you for your non-beliefs. Plenty of people have deep religious views, but they don’t try to force them on unsuspecting dates. If it is front and center on the profile, expect a conversion date. Multiple assault complaints have resulted in conjunction with a popular Christian dating site.
Second person to beware of is the list maker. Her or she spends their word count telling you what they don’t like or what they will accept. Trust me, you will not satisfy their list.
Third potential date to run from is the Eeyore date. If you can remember the sad donkey from Winnie the Poo, who was the ultimate pessimist, then you have a handle on this date. At first, you may feel sorry for him, which is never a reason to date a person.
The fourth is the rude guy or gal. He’ll make rude comments about previous dates, plan dates, then cancel or forget to show. You know the routine. Don’t makes excuses for him so you can go out later. You’ll just end up angry later too.
Social media allows the fifth person free rein by sharing too much on your wall, Twitter feed, and everywhere else. This person wants a relationship in the worse way and will often bombard you with information better left unsaid…forever. They also love to text and email you endlessly. It feels a lot like stalking.
The sixth person I sat in front of in first class once. I was so excited to be in first class, but the four-hour flight was a sound bite for the man behind me who constantly trotted out his accomplishments. His seatmate did not know him and was probably as tired of hearing about the racehorse he owned as I was. Some people may think the guy might be trying to interest the woman with his accomplishments, not really. He’s a walking ego who enjoys hearing how amazingly fantastic he is.
Seventh person makes all sorts of grammar and spelling errors in his or her profile. This is a concern for several reasons. The first one is your potential Romeo is not in this country or isn’t of legal age. The second reason is the person really doesn’t care about their profile. Maybe he or she wrote it when drunk. It only takes a minute to use spellcheck. Do you want to go out with someone who cares so little about making a good impression?
The eighth type makes constant sexual references. Most adults hope to make a successful love connection, develop a relationship, and eventually take it to step three. Your online lothario wants to skip steps one and two.
Remember these types aren’t in order. Sometimes the long and short of the profile response is telling. A long-winded monologue will tell you the guy talks a great deal. A few terse words indicated you’ll carry the conversation.
Consider the photos in several ways. If he cuts out a chick or ex-wife is a photo, then he’s too lazy to even make an appropriate photo. That will carry over in other places. If he or she is always clutching an alcoholic beverage, think drinks too much.  Pouting or somber expressions result in a moody, difficult person. If the background is old, then your date will be too.
These are small flags, which merit attention. You are never under any obligation to go out with someone you aren’t totally interested in. When on a date with someone you don’t know, remember safety first.

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