Monday, May 27, 2013

Why Names Matter.


Never underestimate the power of a name. Back a few years ago when I was dating I met men who often didn’t use their given name. They weren’t married or in the witness protection program, either. Instead, they were attempting to project an image with one word.  We usually decide on how we will interact with someone in less than ten seconds.  Depending on the person, you decide if they will be a friend, an enemy, a lover, or unimportant in your future.
Think about this the next time you go somewhere. Often you make eye contact with other people, but immediately look away because the people do not hold any significance for you.  Before we meet people, we often hear their name and form an impression.  Your co-worker or friend wants to fix you up with her cousin. How would you react if his name were Lawrence?
Immediately you might think the name sounds stuffy or old. You might picture a man with muttonchops sideburns smoking a pipe. Worse yet, he’d insist that you call him Larry. You end up saying that you will be out of town that weekend.
The same friend ever anxious to promote your love life, informs you that her husband’s brother  Hannibal is single. You murmur your apologies as you try to control your shudders. Unfortunately, movies have tainted names like Jason and Damien too.
Other names just have low energy. It is hard to get excited about someone named Eugene, Wilbur, Elmer or Harold.  It brings to mind an earnest young man trapped in the fifties.
Ambiguous gender names are sometimes confusing too.  It is hard to consider a fellow named  Sydney, Robyn or Cary as very hetero when they  share the same name as your girlfriends. 
Therefore, I am back to the men who pick a name for their dating profile to attract women. Different names attract different women. Alexander may want to be perceived as a more social animal and goes with Alex. Daniel opts for Dan, which he thinks sounds more rugged.
Women can carry off exotic names, while most men can’t. A  survey that polled sexy male names listed relative common names including David, Michael, Sean, Clint and Brandon.
Never underestimate the power of a name. It is very difficult to date men who have the same name as an ex. Men will bless you with the same negatives attributes as an ex with the same name. One three-time married man simply chose to call his wife honey to avoid calling her the wrong name, which would be the kiss of death.
Some women fall for names that sound more exotic like Enrique or Renardo or even Stephen. The man himself might not be that unusual, but often the belief that they will be is enough to get them the date.
Should you lie about your name to get a date? This can backfire on you. When do you confess to your real name? Plenty of people start with a middle name or a nickname for security purposes, but you might want to come clean by date three.
Dating often allows you the chance to change your name to a degree. If everyone calls you Jill, but you prefer Jillian, then introduce yourself as that.
Next time, you think names don’t matter. Remember all the men trying to find dates who transformed Carl into Adam or Norman into Edward. My husband’s name is Scott, which definitely influenced me when deciding if to date him. Scott is a strong, authoritative name, while retaining some playfulness.
Ironically, I had on the other hand shared the same name as his psychotic ex-wife, and he still married me. So maybe names don't matter as much as I thought. Still, he never ever calls me by the ex's name. No, it is always sweetheart or honey.

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