Six Things Men Do Wrong Scientifically Speaking

Cracked.com recently garnered a lot of views with their article The 6 Things Men do to Get Laid That Science Says Turns Women Off. It was a humorous article, but it was both right and wrong in some ways.

The first issue is the man wants and hopes to have sex. The average woman on the prowl for a man isn’t opposed to sex, but she wants a relationship. Someone who really cares about her feelings, which means the man’s initial one-track thinking might be a problem. Let’s look at the way men can foul out in the mating game.

1.     

  Talking. Part of the reason for this is that men try to emulate tough guy movie character lines. Trust me, the same shoot ‘em up movies that guys love doesn’t appeal to women. Neither do those classic guaranteed pickup lines. The woman has heard them or read them before. The secret is every woman wants to feel special. Saying the same thing that you’ve previously used on someone else eliminates this feeling. It shows a lack of effort too.

   

    Remember the television skits with men drooling and mumbling something incoherent when a beautiful woman walks by. It isn’t too different in real life. If a man can disassociate himself from scoring, then he can sound intelligent or at least not creepy.

2.       Acting interested is a turn off. I disagree strongly. Many relationships that could have been never happened because the woman was unaware the man was interested. Dating site science tried to prove this by having women judge men’s profile pictures. The majority* liked the one where the man was looking away.

     C’mon science, give me a break. They are dating profile photos, which mean ALL the men are interested. They didn’t join to earn some dating badge. The looking away photo may be the better photo because the man isn’t trying too hard and might appear more relaxed. Let’s face it, when you try to smile too much for the camera it just looks goofy. This really isn’t science. It is dating website surveys. The female majority, who weren’t busy dating spent time agonizing over photos, were the same one who answered the surveys. These are going to be picky women, no matter what you look like or if you’re staring at the camera or off into the distance.

3.       Dancing. Yep, you read that right. Dancing sends women running for the hills. Let me clarify this, dancing as if you’re having a seizure turns off women. Most men can’t fast dance and look desirable at the same time. Unlike women, they didn’t practice dance moves with their friends, took dance classes, or dance in front of mirror.  Almost any man can learn to slow dance. One comedian joked that slow dancing was hugging with music. Dancing with a woman can be the thing that wins her over. Remember romantic movies have at least one dancing sequence in them.

4.       Complimenting her looks is supposedly dangerous territory. It depends on how you do it. Even if a woman is wearing a low cut shirt and you admire her rack, you’ve thrown yourself out of the game. Number one reason is because you discounted her as a person by focusing on one aspect of her body. This compliment is worthy of a drunken frat boy and you’ll be treated as such. Remember the rule of three. Three compliments per date. Too many doesn’t sound real.

    A good compliment may not always sound like a compliment at first. If she’s talking about her job or a recent accomplishment, you can remark about how you admire someone with her ability or how hard she must have worked. At the end of your time together, thanking her for a great time is a compliment.

5.       Being nice. The Cracked author’s definition of being nice is more like being false and pretending to like everything the girl does. Women don’t always want someone who likes everything they do. That’s why they have girlfriends. Even the girlfriends disagree sometimes. By being what you think is nice, you’re being bland. Bland is the kiss of death. This makes you unmemorable.

6.       Having the wrong name puts women off. It does, but not always for the reasons people think. Some names are gender ambiguous. It is hard to consider a man named Stacy, Peyton or Taylor when that happens to be her BFF’s name too.

Other names are lacking in sexual charisma for this generation. Oscar, Arnold, Stanley, and Bertram may have been tough names a couple centuries ago, but they aren’t now.

Then there is the curse of having the same name as an ex, her brother, or her father. It’s hard to not to lump you in with the other man who has your name too.

This might be the reason many men choose to make up nicknames.

In the end, besides rusty pickup lines and bad dancing, most sober woman can recognize a booty call. If that’s all you got, then she’s not buying.