Friday, June 10, 2011

Attitude is Everything

In the book, The Hidden World of Dogs by Elizabeth Marshall Thomas, the author explains how a tiny poodle can chase a Great Dane from her yard. The tiny dog is barking so hard that her front feet come off the ground. She means business and the big dog knows it which causes him to carefully back off. I’ve seen it happen with my own opinionated small dog. He tells my much bigger dog what he can and cannot do. Dogs respect attitude and the one with the most gets to be the alpha dog. What does this have to do with dating? Should we be barking in our front yards to get the attention we need?

Not hardly, but we do need to check our attitudes, literally. What is your attitude? How do you regard yourself? Your dating prospects? Life, in general? Are you aware you really get what you believe you deserve to get…it is a form of self-fulfilling prophecy. Case in point, how often have you gone out on a first date with the impression it will be a horrible date, and it was. If you started out with a negative attitude, you found every tiny thing you could criticize about your date, if only in your mind. Trust me, he felt your negative energy and gave it back to you. You didn’t put yourself out to be friendly because you ‘d already written your date off. On the other hand, he was probably busy trying to figure out how he could be shed of you. Do you need an attitude adjustment?

Probably so, if you’re feeling low about yourself and everything else. Beware ladies and gentlemen, you attract people who reflect back the same attitude you hold about yourself. Think of Gilligan’s Island for a moment, then think of cheerful, cute Mary Ann. I am Mary Ann…have been my entire life and hated the fact I wasn’t Ginger. I was so displeased that I wasn’t tall, slinky and sultry that I didn’t feel good about myself or even consider myself all that attractive. Guess what, I found plenty of people who would beat up on me too, telling me how unattractive or worthless I was.

My ex-husband was very fond of commenting on other women’s attributes in front of me. Now while I didn’t have a high esteem, I am logical. I would be mystified that he thought someone was beautiful who didn’t even have the basic good features I possessed. Looking back, I remembered they did have attitude. They knew men were checking them out and they viewed it as their tribute.

When I decided to change my attitude about myself, it was hard. I had to re-accept myself everyday as I looked into the mirror. I verbalized what was good about me each day. Boy, did I feel ridiculous when I first started, but after a while, I was willing to believe. Once I believed, I was attracting men who believed I was wonderful and beautiful too. It’s all in the attitude.

Some people just don’t believe they are worthy of respect despite being incredible. A good example of this is a male friend who is allergic to cats, but his ex-wife and daughter insisted on keeping multiple cats. He even had the thankless job of cleaning out the cat box. How horrible. What the ex-wife was affirming with her behavior was that she didn’t value or respect him. Part of the reason was he didn’t value himself or he would have pulled the plug on the whole cat scheme. It hurts me to think people are so thoughtless. As for the man, he turned in his cat box scoop along with his ex-wife. He also learned how to regard himself as being special, and in turn attracted a very special lady.

I have heard so many women say there are no good men left in the world. With that attitude, do you think they will find any? Nope, and they don’t want to either it would ruin their sour on men attitude. Same with the guys, you know the ones, convinced every woman is out to use them. They attract conniving women who do use them. A better attitude would attract a higher caliber of female.

Your attitude affects so much about your life. A good mood actually keeps illnesses at bay. A smile on your face attracts people to you. Being positive also helps you be lucky at anything. Think who you want to be around. The cheerful person or the emotional vampire who spends twenty minutes describing her various woes.

Positive emotion is a force to be reckoned with. It can definitely change minds, but other times it can even turn equipment on and off in scientific studies on paranormal abilities. Negative energy has no power except to bring you down. If you get several upbeat people together and their combined energy is amazing. They really can do anything.

When I changed my attitude that men are lucky to go out with me, they felt and acted lucky to be with me. I was still cute Mary Ann, but surprisingly, being Mary Ann was okay. I found plenty of men who were Mary Ann fans. It really is all about attitude.

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