Monday, July 18, 2011
Ever had an issue with friends and family not believing that your current squeeze is the one, as in forever, happily ever after, most amazing man in the world? I do, at this particular moment. It isn’t as if they don’t like the man, but they smile and nod when I tell them he’s the one, my soul mate. Sure, I know what they are thinking, how long will this one last? Why shouldn’t they, since I’ve been divorced twice and had at least a half dozen relationships that ended, badly.
Trust me, I do badly better than most. Almost three years ago I broke up with a man, who still cyber stalks me. When I was much younger, the guy I broke up with broke into our house since I refused to take any phone calls from him. My friends and family have witnessed the end of the romance at its worst. How do they know this one will work out? What they really want is proof before they are too welcoming and accepting. Why put too much effort in getting to know a guy who might not last the year? My mother might not want to bake his favorite cookie when we visit if he’s a short timer.
What can I offer as proof that this relationship is the absolute real thing? Here are my five proofs. Number one is that he always wants what is best for me and if it is best for both of us that’s just gravy. He struggles with this because I want what is best for him and often we try to outdo each other in seeking the best for each other. Honestly, he wins this battle most of the time.
Number two, seems simple on the surface, but means a lot to me, is that he helps me with household chores from cutting grass to setting up for the upcoming neighborhood yard sale. Whenever we finish a meal, he immediately gets up and starts doing the dishes. I don’t ask him to do this, and sometimes he tells me to go write because he’s got it covered.
Number three is an odd one, but it is a relief for me, we don’t have to entertain each other. Maybe you can remember your early dates when it seemed liked everything took so much work because you tried to be entertaining all the time. We do have fun together just being ourselves, but other times I can write while he reads. What an absolute breakthrough in relationships. Until now, I worked myself to the bone by being either entertaining or making myself indispensible to a guy. The end result was the guy never appreciated my effort and just expected more. As for me, I just wanted him to go away so I could rest. What an incredible difference, this must be what good relationships are like. LOL
Number four is amazing, I mean really amazing, so amazing that it has never happened to me before. What is it you’re wondering? He accepts me just as I am. He does not make fun of me when I talk to my plants and withholds comments when I talk for the dogs. Everything I say has merit in his eyes. His attitude allows me to trust him absolutely. How many friends could you tell anything and they would just listen, not laugh, not judge, or give unsolicited advice? Not many, I bet, that’s why I am so excited.
Number five is he goes outside of his comfort zone for me. He does things with me he has never ever thought of doing or perhaps even wanted to do, but is glad to do because of me. Most recently, he worked hard to choreograph my solo bellydance. His musical ability helped me create transitions that I might not have been able to do on my own. He even volunteered to take up drumming for the group. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the world of bellydance, it isn’t as glamorous as you might think. It means he gets to carry stuff, wait, stand around in hot rooms, under the sun, or even in the wings waiting for a three-minute dance performance. After the performance, he’ll compliment me wildly, never mentioning I missed a step, dropped my veil, or was off beat with the finger cymbals.
I offer these five as my proof along with the fact that he’s such a part of my life I can’t imagine life without him. We don’t always agree and know what issues we differ on, but it doesn’t diminish our love for one another. What one woman views as wildly romantic another might not.
Personally, I love the flowers and secret surprises, but a man who puts up with my small dog who sits behind him on the couch back and plays with his hair is a definite keeper. I didn’t say he liked the dog playing with his hair, he quietly places him on the floor without any emotional display. As for my friends and relatives, they are starting to notice how well he continues to treat me. He’s already went through the impressing stage, so there’s no real reason for his behavior unless he’s the one. And he is.