Avoid any momma’s boy if you
want any type of a prolonged romantic relationship. Men who jump to do their
mother’s bidding earn the moniker Momma’s Boy. Just a phone call from dear old
mom has them switching their date night or dropping the girl altogether to rush
to transplant mommy’s geraniums which have become a bit root-bound. Mother has
first claim no matter what and marriage doesn’t diminish her rights. Any woman
who hooks up with this devoted son will have to settle for being second best.
Women do stumble into
relationships with momma’s boys because they are such nice men. Who doesn’t
respect a man who treats his mother well? It is certainly better than a man who
treats his mother with contempt. The alarm bells may start to go off when Mom
stands as an authority on everything from cooking to dating etiquette. You
should run very fast if he wants Mom to take you shopping so she can give you
some fashion tips--you may have just landed a starring role in a reality horror
show.
There are endless television
shows that employ at least one character with an overbearing mother. The
Big Bang Theory is a good example. One of its uber smart characters lives
with dear old mom who only wants the best for her son. One episode featured mom
yelling out helpful advice from the other side of the bedroom door when her son
snuck a girlfriend home. She even apologizes for her son’s lack of sexual
stamina and asks the girl to give him another chance. We laugh because no one
is like that--or are they? I dropped a man who adored me. He was good looking,
polite and charming. People liked him, but I decided he and his mother were
much too close when he told me his mother discussed her sex life with him on a
regular basis.
Most women do not enjoy dating
men who keep in regular contact with their exes. It is especially bad when he
compares you to the ex. This gets old fast. It is nothing beside the mother
test. Be prepared for the momma’s boy because his mother is the best. She is
the gold standard for everything from cooking to spoiling her boy rotten. Why
shouldn’t he favor his mother? She bought his adoration by exceptional
indulgence, sometimes to the point of neglecting other siblings or spouse.
Can you think of an ex who
seemed especially spoiled? He not only expects you to wait on him, but his
mother too. If so, you may have encountered the classic edition of the momma’s
boy. This edition believes that being male is the pinnacle of social evolution.
Women are supposed to wait on this man because that is their purpose in life. A
colleague explained to me that she had to clean her brother’s room every day
because she was a female. Her brother did nothing because it was woman’s work.
Her mother enforced this edict making her into an epitome of the perfect female
in the son’s eyes. This type of man will not view women as being equal to men.
Ironically, a woman shaped this belief.
Momma’s boys evolve in a
variety of ways, rather like a science experiment gone wrong. Everyone is aware
that it is wrong to favor one offspring over another. What happens when you do?
You can end up with a momma’s boy or a daddy’s girl depending on the sex of the
child and parent. One mother who had several girls, one son, and a husband she
long gave up on loving decided to use the son as her tool. The man had insisted
on more babies until the son was finally born. The mother, who was vengeful
beyond belief, used the son to exact her revenge. She preferred the son over
all her daughters. He was perfect in her eyes and did little to help around the
household. In small family disputes, he always got his way. The mother bought
him special treats the other children didn’t receive in order to bind him to
herself as opposed to the father. The end result was he had little to do with
his father, whom his mother despised. His sisters hated him, and he expected
everything to be done his way.
In today’s world, we are
creating more financial momma’s boys. I can remember being a teen and planning
to move out. I had my first apartment at eighteen and no one I knew stayed at
home past 21. The average age of the unmarried American male leaving home
currently is 29, and many stay longer. Why not? Mother makes it easy with
regular meals, laundry service, and few financial demands. This type of
dependence stymies emotional growth. Even after the man physically leaves, his
mother still holds the financial purse strings often paying rent or buying
groceries for her son who can’t quite get it together. He has no reason to get
it together as long as mother pays. What she is really paying for is a
continued relationship based on obligation.
The Momma’s Boy syndrome is
problematic. A woman who has carefully crafted her son into a drone to
constantly serve her is a very needy and controlling woman. She will expect to
control you too. At first, she may seem very nice, but you haven’t crossed her
yet. You haven’t challenged her authority or made her son choose between the
two of you. Newsflash: he will always choose her because she will always be
there for him. Those other women merely pass through his life, never staying.
Do you even have to wonder why?
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