Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Remember the old feminist manifesto that women could have it all, which at that time meant a husband, a clean house, well behaved kids, and a high powered job. It all sounded good, but few if any females ever had it all. It was just too much to expect. It didn’t stop anyone from wanting it or even expecting it could happen. The same with dating because we refuse to believe we can’t have it all.
What does a woman want in a date, or even a prospective mate? According to some trusted male sources, they believe she wants everything from a man who treats her like princess, to a high wage earner, to a man who medals in the triathlon, to a man who is often mistaken for a movie star. Oh, and the woman wants constant excitement and novelty. He needs to surprise her with gifts, cards, flowers, and romantic getaways. No relaxed nights in sweats watching a DVD for him.
Sounds like a bit much, surely the sources jest. I am not sure, but that is the message they got when their girlfriend or wife left them for someone they believed could do all these things. First of all, I have serious doubts anyone could do it all, and if he could, then he could not do it do for long. That is what they refer to in marriages as the honeymoon period. When all the newness wears off and just everyday life remains, some couples grow indifferent and drift apart. Bored with their situation until someone new and shiny comes along sparking their interest and the cycle begins once again.
We, as Americans, are greedy, plain and simple. We even have a television show called American Greed dedicated to telling us about all the devious things people will do to get more stuff. Same with relationships, we’ll do a lot to hook the man even pretending to be what we aren’t. This is one reason Fredericks of Hollywood makes so much money. Women are willing to strap on fake boobs and butts, and wear outlandish wigs to attract a guy. Maybe even pretend an interest in a sport they do not like. Women do all sorts of things to land a guy, and not like what they landed. Number one because he prefers curvy blond tarts who know football. Number two he was probably playing fast and loose with the truth too, and he’s no romantic hero that he pretended to be.
Is it perception or greed? It is a little bit of both. We are constantly told we can have everything by the media. We deserve it. We’re worth it. We hear it over and over again. We are told nothing about setting priorities, what matters most in a relationship, and how to judge character. So we assume things that are not true, and often give a good looking guy the benefit of the doubt, while the average guy gets no benefit at all.
Men were asked in the long run, if they preferred a woman with some weight on her who would treat him well or a skinny chick that would be mean to him. The majority picked the first. So knowing this then you think women might work on their kindness ratio as opposed to the treadmill, but you’d be wrong.
Despite a mountain of evidence, people still expect to find that perfect person out there somewhere. They leave wonderful caring people to chase after a mirage. A mirage inspired by glitzy Hollywood movies, glossy magazines, and even books. People are simply imperfect creatures doing the best they can. Why would anyone be perfect in very way? If they were, then why would they want you?
I think it comes down to greed. We expect the best of everything with doing nothing to earn or deserve it. Then the woman, and sometimes the man, is angry when that perfect mate doesn’t come along. They’ll chase after people they believe to be perfect discarding them when they find they aren’t. They’ll try to shape people into the image they want, and perhaps become embittered when their creations desert them. If they’re lucky, very lucky, then they’ll grow up and realize the world doesn’t revolve around them. Once that epiphany happens, they’ll notice their imperfections, be humbled by it. Next time around, they’ll try to be a better person aware that a relationship involves two people, not just themselves.
Amazingly once they realize they do not deserve a perfect person they will become the perfect match for someone who thinks likewise.