Saturday, June 9, 2012

The Swinging Bachelor Pad

Ever watched the Beverly Hillbillies on TVLAND? Jethro, the clueless country boy, always wants to have a swinging bachelor pad. He believes that includes a round bed and whole panel of buttons that dim lights, close curtains, and turn on music. That’s pretty much what the teenage boy thinks a bachelor pad is. The real question is what do grown women want to see in a man’s apartment?

My sweetie confided before I came over to his apartment for the first time that he remade it according to the advice featured on urban mogul life web site. In the article, it mentioned that a woman liked to check out your bathroom. Your bathroom should be clean, color coordinated with a masculine theme. You should also have high end grooming items, but not too many displayed. It should include a decorative basket with fluffy towels, hip reading material, and extra toilet paper.

Yes, women check out the bathroom. We do appreciate the easily accessible toilet paper and color coordination. What do we do in the bathroom besides the obvious? We check the bathroom for signs of another woman. Are there toiletries in the tub that clearly go with another woman? If a man has prescription drugs lined up on his counter, then they will be looked at. A woman might regard a man on several prescriptions has not a good bet. I did notice the grooming items, which impressed me in the fact that he took care of himself. We, women, like this because then he won’t tease us for our high end grooming products.

I checked out several other websites to see what makes an apartment appealing to a woman, at least from a man’s point of view. Not all of them agree, but they did agree on cleanliness.  Women do not always expect a man’s abode to be perfect, but they do expect some level of orderliness. Even if you aren’t the neatest person in the world, a woman expects some effort made before she arrives. I’ve been invited to homes where there are dirty dishes, shoes piled by the door, baskets of unfolded laundry strewn around. First of all, it told me the man didn’t care enough to even try to impress me. I reciprocated by not caring enough to date him again. So cleanliness does matter, despite your date saying it doesn’t matter.

It also allows her the chance to see your own individuality. This is murky, because the different sites are advising what to do to demonstrate your identity. Vanity Fair advises to put out intelligent books that you may have just stop reading and placed on the coffee table. If you have a camera, you should bop out to take several black and white photos, have them matted and framed, and artistically arranged on your wall before your date comes over. That’s a tall order.  A woman is looking for information about you. Instead of reading book titles, I read the names of the various videos my guy had. Trust me, there were no romantic comedies, and I was okay with that.

Urban Mogul advises the man to put up subtly sexual art. Really… that smacks of Jethro Bodine. Men aren’t known for being subtle when it comes to sex. I think you’d actually be better off with the black and white photographs. The provocative art suggests you are too much a player. Maybe the woman doesn’t want a player and heads for the hills if she thinks you’re one.

Urban Mogul also advises you to have something to do at your home such as board games and videos. Good idea. Once dinner is over there needs to be a way to prolong the date. Games often allow us to display our real personality as opposed to company behavior. I would give this advice two thumbs up since it would put both people at their ease.

Women are nosey. It has served us well in the past; so we will snoop in the kitchen. Bachelor fridges are known for their emptiness.  A normal one houses condiments, old takeout, and beer.  Vanity Fair encourages the man to stock it with champagne and eggs, an unlikely combination. Reasoning is all women like champagne, and this will impress them.  The women will see the eggs assume the man can cook, and expect breakfast if she stays over.

Urban Mogul instead promotes ice cream. Two types of gourmet ice cream, so the man has a decent chance of having something the woman might like. I think ice cream is a better bet unless you’re dating a diabetic or a lactose intolerant woman.  A man should already know this before inviting a woman over. Have lots of non-alcoholic drinks for her to choose from. Another good choice in my opinion because if a man only has alcoholic drinks then it is assumed he wants the woman drunk.

Make sure the woman has a comfortable place to sit like a big comfy couch with lots of throw pillows. This sounds like the guy has to start all over from ground zero. You want to avoid leather couches. Men think these are masculine, but women wear clothes that show a lot of leg and skin. Skin sticks to leather, pleather, and vinyl. It is no fun peeling skin off the furniture, especially while you are currently wearing it.

So overall, what do men really need to do to impress the girl? Clean like a maniac. Rid your apartment of anything left behind from an old girlfriend or ex-wife. Think twice about anything an old flame bought you. Another woman recognizes a female chosen bedspread, shower curtain, etc., and may not want to be anywhere near it. Food in the fridge is a good thing. Tissues and extra toilet paper are pluses. Have something that truly reflects you and your interests. It can be as simple as a photo of you and your fishing buddies, a model car, or a hobby magazine. If possible, relax.

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