Saturday, July 6, 2013

Dating and Texting

Your texting may be the symbol of where your relationship is at and where it is going. I overheard two women discussing the gradual disintegration of one woman’s last romance. At first, she talked every night, the calls grew less frequent, he started texting her, then even the texts became shorter and were often abbreviations that never spelled out ‘I love you’. The sympathetic girl friend asked her friend when she knew the relationship was doomed.
Men, pay attention to the following sentences, because her answer is important and I will explain why in a second.  She answered without any hesitation. She knew the relationship had turned the corner when he started texting.
There are times it is ok to text, but not as many times as you think. If you are running late, you might text that you are late. Texting generally implies you don’t care enough to call. If you are crazy about a person, you want to hear her voice. You text if you are keeping her on a string with a bunch of other women. You text when you are hanging out with the guys and you don’t want to interrupt your male bonding to talk to her, even though you said you’d call. You text when you are watching your favorite television show. What all these things have in common is that you consider them more important than the actual woman. You text when you are on a date with another woman. You text when you are drunk. Trust me, she know all these reasons.
Teenagers might build a relationship on text messages, but grown  women want face time. If they can’t have face time, voice time will do. Bad things happen with texting. Your friends think it is cool to text for you. A message goes to the wrong person. A sarcastic or funny message comes off wrong. Women, unfortunately, get bad messages via text from breakups to date cancellations. Just ask Katy Perry, whose ex-husband notified her via text he wanted a divorce. Sometimes the idea of a text message has negative  connotations.
Are you serious about this woman? Want to get to know her better? Then keep the texting at a minimum. Michael Masters, author of TextAppeal -- For Guys! The Ultimate Texting Guide, states that the hotter a woman is  the less texting you should do. Unnecessary texting makes you look needy. Inappropriate texting such as in the early morning, late evening, even at work can be annoying.
You don’t get to know someone through texting. There are no social cues to let you know you’ve entered into the boring zone. You can’t really show off your clever wit or charm in a text. You may think you can, but typing ROFL doesn’t quite do it.
Text messages sometimes function as smoke screens, allowing the man to hide behind them. Some men will be guilty of using the same message over and over again on different women. Does it sound familiar like a song or poem? Then it probably is. Women don’t want perfection they just want to get to know you.
Another thing, as a woman, I absolutely hate are men who text me and actually think I know who it is. No, I was not waiting for his text. The man is so unimportant in my life that he isn’t in my caller identification yet. Don’t play cutesy game about your identity either. If you want to do this, maybe there is a thirteen-year-old girl willing to text you. Always assume the woman doesn’t know who it is.
When is it okay to text? Running late, confirming reservations, seeing if she got home safe, double checking preferences, to see if she’s free to talk. Most women won’t mind an occasional random compliment text or an ‘I love you’ text. In the end, they really want to talk to you. It doesn’t have to a long conversation. It is enough to make the effort, which will show her how much you care.
Never ever text on a date. If you have to take a call or text, excuse yourself to do so.

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