Flirting 101

Not sure how to attract a date or develop a relationship? Here are a few things to try. First, hygiene is important. The aroma of sweat or scruffiness doesn’t work for initial flirting. Have your A-game on even when running weekend errands. You never know when you’ll have a chance to flirt.

Flirting Do’s

1.       Make Eye Contact. Make sure whoever you have your eye on sees your eye contact.

2.       Smile. Patti Stranger, The Millionaire Matchmaker, states if you smile at ten potential dates, at least two will ask you out.

3.       Say Hello. This signals your interest. The ball is now in the other person’s court.

4.       Have realistic expectations. Women who hope to find The One come off as needy. A woman or man who just wants to meet someone new is much more relaxed.

5.       Don’t overthink things. This means don’t overanalyze every word and action.

6.       Tease, but don’t mock.

7.       Don’t judge. Most people run through possibilities as if they were running a 50 meter dash. Make an effort to find out more about a person before rashly discarding them for the next hopeful. The good ones usually are nervous because they aren’t players.

8.       Lean in when talking or listening. This signals that what the other is saying is important.

9.       Bump elbows. This manages to signal you’d like to get to know the other person better without too much familiarity.

10.   Flirt via technology. Be aware that without a face to go with a text message, the recipient doesn’t know if you’re teasing, sarcastic or dead serious. Most assume you’re serious. A remark you thought was clever ends up sounding boastful or insincere.

11.   Dance. Get out on the floor and dance with your friends, that way people see you. Ask a stranger to dance.

12.   Laugh. Happy people are attractive.

13.   Flip your hair. This works for women, not for men.

14.   Face the person. Give the person your undivided attention.

15.   Lightly brush an arm. This is a safe zone to signal your interest.

16.   Pay attention to the other person’s eyes. Looking over your shoulder signals she’d rather be elsewhere. Eyes drifting to your mouth may indicate that kissing is in your near future.

17.   Compliment. Be sincere though. A compliment about a virtue the other doesn’t possess is an immediate fail.

18.   Show your neck. Don’t be a giraffe, but not a turtle either.

19.   Listen. Most people don’t, instead they think about what witty thing they’ll say next.  Ask question about what your date is saying.

20.   Mimic body language. This comes from Psychology 101. We like people who are like us. Even when we are unaware of the mimicking, we still react to it positively. This is what job applicants are told to do to ace the interviews.

21.   Whisper. It brings the person closer. It also creates a feeling of intimacy.

22.   Touch hands. It signals a desire to be closer.

23.   Be on parade. Remember the movies were the woman or man keeps walking past a table? Do the same thing.  Not to the point of being absurd though, people might mistake you for the server.

24.   Play footsie. Be careful on this one, though. Some folks are icked out about feet.

25.   Bump knees. You can make this look accidental.

26.   Be Playful. Playful is up there with happy.

27.   Apply lipstick. This makes a man think of kissing.

28.   Caress his back. This has a calming effect has well as creating intimacy.

29.   Hug. Almost everyone can get away with a hug as a greeting

30.   Wink. Stars of bygone eras used the wink to signal interest. It will work for you too.

31.   Raise your eyebrows. This is a subtle interest signaling method.

32.   Cut your eyes to him if you’re seated nearby. If you’re already together, it serves no purpose.

33.   Look back at him as you pass by.

34.   Play peek-a-boo with a menu or book.

35.   Men, ask female friends or co-workers to smile adoringly at you. Oddly, women are attracted to men other women like.

36.   Men, make the conversation all about her. Use her name in conversation.

37.   Women, allow the man to change your mind about something. While men enjoy women who agree with them, a woman they can convince to change her mind pleases them more.

38.   Angle your body toward his when speaking. If interested, he’ll angle back or stand and block other men’s view of you.

Most people do these things without even thinking about it. If you’re out of practice, you might have to make an effort to find your optimum flirting technique. Remember, not all flirting suggestions may suit your style. One flirting guide advised women to pout. I wouldn’t add that to this list. It works well if you’re under ten. Over ten, you just look high maintenance.