The Manipulative Woman

Scarlett O'Hara is the most reknown manipulator.

Society is suddenly creating more and more manipulators of the feminine persuasion.  A plea from a famous author for newly graduated female students to talk in their big girl voice and do thing for themselves, as opposed to pretending they didn’t know how to do anything, initially caught my attention. Subbing in the school system, where I observed females of all ages coerce boys into doing their work to the detriment of their own work, added to my belief that females become manipulative at an early age. A novel that featured a heartless female, who used her loyal guy friend throughout the entire book, as the heroine stunned me. She was the protagonist.

The thing that got me about the novel was not only did the majority of female reviewers agree they knew someone like this woman, but they applauded her behavior.  When I googled manipulative woman, I came up with Scarlett O’Hara and Jodi Arias, who tortured her ex-boyfriend before killing him. We can all agree these ladies did not get what they wanted in the end. Still, many women want to be Scarlett.

 Angry Harry wrote in his internet column that men are wired to use things in their environment, while women learn how to use men. Maybe, but I didn’t grow up that way.

Several articles from around the world show this is a problem not just isolated in the United States. How do women manipulate men?

1.       Refusing to answer the phone, or respond to texts or emails from the man. 

2.       They’ll intentionally not bring money to get a man to pay for everything. This will also apply to a friend or co-worker who happens to be male.

3.       Flirt with other men to make their date jealous.

4.       When caught in a wrong, they’ll somehow convince the man it was something they were doing for him.

5.       Pout or cry to get their way.

6.       They’ll show signs of melting down, especially in public, to get their way.

7.       Withhold sex or lock the man out of the bedroom for a perceived wrong.

8.       The man might think he’s in a relationship, but the woman never confesses it online or to other men.

9.       These women use men as placeholders until someone better comes along and they’ll be actively looking.

10.   They’ll criticize their men in public.

11.   Knowing the stigma about men hitting women, they’ll pinch, slap, and punch their dates, especially in public.

12.   The man is called a loser, doofus, or compared unfavorably to other men.

13.   They’ll lie about previous conversations to the point where the man doubts his own memory.

14.   The manipulative woman discovers the man’s insecurities and uses them like a whip.

15.   She’ll hint about the man transgresses in some fashion, never telling him what, only that he needs to make up for it.

16.   She’ll take everything personally.

17.   Weather, hormones, her job, even the day of the week is excuse enough for a bad mood, which she takes out on the man.

The bigger question is why does the man tolerate it? I watched a pleasant five-year-old boy ordered around by two bossy females in class. He was doing their work for them. I told him to stop. He stopped, but looked distressed. I asked him why he was doing their jobs. His brow furrowed for a moment considering the question. His answer was they told him to do it.

That was the simplest reason. He also could have felt important or needed. He could have felt his actions made the girls like him. He might even have been trying to prevent the girls from not liking him, criticizing him, pouting, or crying.

Ironically, the nice guys are always the ones who are sucked into the web of the manipulative female. The manipulative males recognize their own tricks and stay away.

Now, these women don’t just use their wiles on men. Often you’ll encounter these same women at work, at your school, even your church or social group. You know who they are. They’re the ones who throw some awful fit if you don’t do things their way. Often people do things their way just to keep things quiet.

There is the rare occasion where everyone walks away from the manipulative female teaching her something. Unfortunately, there are too many needy people looking for some type of a relationship who will settle for serving this demanding mistress until she throws them aside.

The relationship is more of a slave serving a master than a romantic pairing. What do you do if you find yourself in such a relationship? The best thing is to leave and save yourself. It won’t get better and you’ll not be able to change hard-wired behavior patterns.

At this point, you might ask yourself why you were willing to put up with being treated like a sub-human. Don’t worry, you won’t ever be alone. There are plenty of women willing to use you as an ATM and chauffeur/handyman service. The more important question is why let them?