Saturday, April 19, 2014

Men's Relationship Test Primer

Men have at one time or another wondered if women ask questions to test them. The simple answer is yes. How can a man know how to answer questions appropriately to either begin or strengthen a relationship? Well, the first option is to have several failures and eventually get a clue. The second option is to learn what the questions really mean.

Often logical men think the truth would be the best answer. That depends on the question and the reception the wrong answer will bring. Imagine you’re out on a first date with a woman who you think has long term potential and she asks the dreaded question after your bouncy waitress leaves. Or maybe she queries you after some hot woman saunters by your table.

Q: Do you think she’s attractive?
The inappropriate answer would be yes, even if it’s true.

Declaring the woman is ugly won’t help either. It’s an obvious lie. A simple shrug and something about her being okay or different, but not your type, works best. Then follow it up with something about why your date is your type.

In truth, she wanted the reassurance and tested you to see if you had a roving eye. Unprepared men shoot themselves in the foot with their answers.

Another question masquerades as not what it appears to be.

Q: What are you thinking about?
Most women don’t want to know if you think your jeans are too tight, or that you’re thinking about some centerfold model. Truthfully, they can even accept that the man is thinking about nothing. What they want is your attention. A man can turn the question around and ask what’s on her mind instead.

The ultimate question is when the light of your life shows up and announces with a big smile, “Notice anything different?”

Trust me. There is something different. It could be a new hairstyle, outfit, or even something as small as a new nail color. It probably won’t be obvious to the male eye. Your best reaction is to tell her she looks great.  If this is accompanied by a hug and kiss, she might overlook the fact she was showcasing the bleach spot on her shirt left over from your turn at laundry. Remember these questions are an invitation for positive attention.

The most feared question is, "Do I look fat in this (insert whatever she’s wearing)?”The woman is inviting you to look at her body. She knows exactly how she looks, but she’s giving you a chance to comment. The perfect answer is something along the lines that she looks great in whatever she wears. Keep in mind, the average woman believes being overweight is undesirable. The man who concurs she does look fat may end up eating alone.

Often men ask questions and women give cryptic answers. A birthday, Christmas, or another special event is coming up and a well-meaning man asks for gift suggestions, but gets a shrug and a comment about not bothering. The man might be jubilant since he’s off the hook as far as shopping.

Your failure to buy a gift or the right gift could end a budding relationship. Women expect men to know what they like and make a dedicated effort to pick out a suitable gift. It doesn’t have to be expensive, but a thoughtful gift earns big points and demonstrates why you’re a keeper.

A man thinks he’s stuck his foot in his mouth because his date is acting peculiar.  When he asks if anything is wrong, she replies, “No, nothing.”

It could be nothing. Your best bet is to not make a big deal out of it. If it is a big deal, the woman will eventually tell you.

Why do women test men? Women generally value relationships more than men do. They obtain value, stability, and happiness from the pairing.  With this is mind, they don’t want to waste time on a man without potential. Women also initiate 70% of breakups and divorces when they believe they’ve made a mistake. With this in mind, men can use all the help they can get.

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