Sunday, October 12, 2014

Breaking Up is Harder for the Nice Girl

Even though, I've used the scenario of a woman breaking up with a man. It can also be a man breaking up with a woman or a woman breaking up with another woman too. Using he or she all the time in a sentence gets awkward.

Have you come to the realization that man you only been out with a few times, isn’t the one for you. There’s also the possibility he hasn’t asked you out, but could. More likely, you’ve been dating for a while and you’re not becoming the couple you’d envisioned. Instead of doing things you both enjoy, it’s an all him relationship. You do what he wants to do and when he wants to do it. A visit to Dr. Phil will not cure you because he has no reason to change. Unfortunately, many men believe women are similar, which means the threats of you leaving, won’t change his behavior.

What if, you’re a non-confrontational person and can’t even get to the point of breaking up. It’s not that you don’t want too. You’re afraid of hurting his feelings or in my case; the man simply wouldn’t accept it. Here’s some tips for women who are much too nice to tell the guy to hit the road.

1. State your intentions and then leave. There’s no rebuttal. He doesn't get to plead, negotiate, or explain his side. Walk.

2. Be honest. The nice girl, which is what you are if you’re reading this, may have built up her date/man by saying she enjoyed being with him, what fun they had together, etc. He doesn’t know you have nothing in common and his jokes are lame.

3. Act bored. This probably won’t be hard to do if you already decided you don’t suit. No man wants to hang out with someone who finds him boring. This puts breaking up on him. Warning: he may decide to stick with a bored woman rather than being alone.

4. It’s all about your friends. Suddenly, you have no time for him because you have to go out with the girls, every night or at least whenever he wants to go out.

5. The boyfriend lie works best with guys you’ve only dated once or not at all. Men you’re already dating will accept that your ex is back in contact with you. After all, they’re dating you, why wouldn’t an ex want to see you. Keep in mind; this lie could be outed.

6. Hide from him on social media. Block him from seeing your messages or even if you’re online. He’ll get the message.

7. Avoid common places you used to go. If he knows your schedule, he’ll be waiting for you there.

8. Don’t take his calls, texts, or email. Any contact is encouragement.

9. Be seen with another man, even it is your cousin or your best friend’s brother.

In the end, you wonder why a man would want to go out with someone who wasn’t into him. Seriously, how long did you date after you realize it wasn’t working? People keep dating when it’s not working because they don’t see anyone better or they don’t want to be alone. Dating can be work and they’re not in the mood to start the cycle again. It could be the man is just as anxious to break up with you. With this in mind, honesty can be you best policy, but stay away from lame lines like, “We can still be friends.”

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