Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Why Women Dump Good Men




It’s Friday and time for my massage. My masseuse is an upbeat, attractive Hawaiian guy who is really good with his hands, and often chatty.  He envies my relationship with my sweetie because he hasn’t had any luck.  His last four girlfriends dumped him he confessed, but they cheated on him first with some bad boy type. “Really, you’re kidding me,” I exclaimed from my prone position on the table. ”You’re a nice guy,” I mumbled through the face rest.

I know he’s a nice guy because of how he is with his own children, and even his ex-girlfriend’s children. He often plans romantic getaways for his girlfriend of the moment. Here is a thoughtful, romantic man who’s willing to date women with children, and yet he seems to get dumped all the time. What gives? Why do women dump him? He wanted a list so I scoured my brain for what I knew.

Some women dump guys who do too much.  They give too much early on proving they’re needy, not a delicious prize like the tantalizing bad boy who gives nothing.  Why do pickup artists get girls by insulting them or flirting with their girlfriends?  Women tend to want what they don’t have or seems hard to get. The guy who is too nice in the beginning doesn’t seem to be a prize.  ( I do want to point out the guy that seems like a jerk at the getgo is often a jerk.) Women who enjoy this type of behavior have poor self-esteem.

Another reason a woman moves on is the appeal of variety. She may have a wonderful guy, but is convinced another wonderful guy is around the corner. This is the female version of the player. Often  she over estimates her charms and believes she can play this game forever.

The flipside of this is the woman who married her first boyfriend who may be a wonderful guy. He might be the best guy she’ll ever meet, still she feels cheated.  A steady diet of her friends’ romantic chatter, coupled with romantic comedies, makes her wonder if she made the right choice.  Given a few years, and a couple different guys, and she may have made the same choice, but she doesn’t know this yet. Instead, she chucks her faithful man in search of that romantic paragon she’s been told is out there.

Women dump men out of boredom. We accuse men of this all the time, and are surprised women are guilty too. Women like more variety in everything from food to sexual positions. Many men declare themselves to be steak and potatoes men meaning they could do the same thing over and over and be content. Women stuck in these relationships don’t know how to introduce something new, or have been rebuffed when they tried. It seems easier to just start over.

Women dump men who don’t give them what they want financially. The simple name for this is gold digger.  If that is all a man is to a women then he’s better off without her.

Ever know a woman who likes drama, chaos, and attention in her life? Then she won’t be content with one guy. She’ll start something with one, move to another while she is still dating the first one. That makes for plenty of drama. She is an attention whore. One man can never be enough for her. It isn’t the sex either because most of the attention she is getting is from her girlfriends.

I hesitate to say this, but some women dump men that don’t have the right look. Of course, you might wonder why they went out with them in the first place, but people change, along with their professions. Many nurses put their medical student husbands through school only to be kicked to the curb when he reached doctor status.  Same deal with women who find their blue collar boyfriend no longer suits their professional image. Maybe the boyfriend grew comfortable in the relationship and put on weight or wore sweats in public one too many times. Yep, women discard guys who don’t suit them rather like an out of season purse.

Do you have a friend who dates lots of men? She may have thrown away several nice men. The problem is she doesn’t know what she wants.  She thinks she’ll find it by dating, but that doesn’t work. She has to sit down, not for a few minutes, but often months to discover what she really needs and wants in a partner. How can you know if you have it when you don’t know what you need?  Ever wonder why some elderly ladies are so crotchety? They’ve gotten to the end of their lives never living the life they wanted. They could have stopped at any time and made adjustments. They could probably throw out several reasons why they didn’t do that. If you want something bad enough you make it happen as opposed to going through life haphazardly.

Now, there are plenty of reasons to leave a guy, including abuse. The important thing is to leave as opposed to going out and cheating on him. Why do women do this? Sometimes I think they believe it is their right. Other times they think they won’t get caught and they can have the nice man who is paying the bills and the bad boy. Other times the woman wants to break up, and cheating seems to be the deal breaker that will make it happen. Still, other women are just trying out the merchandise before deciding which one she wants. All in all, it is tacky behavior.

Women often believe men don’t take romantic breakups hard. They do. They take them very hard. Surf on over to a website called Men Going Their Own Way http://www.mgtowforums.com. You’ll find men who are definitely down on American women because they’ve been rejected by one or dozens of women, which puts a whole different complexion on the whole dating issue.

Why do women leave nice guys for bad boys?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.


2 comments:

  1. you are right, i like this lines...
    "Women dump men who don’t give them what they want financially. The simple name for this is gold digger."
    "If that is all a man is to a women then he’s better off without her."

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  2. Traditionally, about a hundred years ago, a man served as a paycheck, father to her children and status marker.

    Today, more women are making as much or more than men. With this in mind, why should a man play the part of a sugar daddy? He shouldn't. Any woman who is with him for what he will buy her will eventually dump him after getting everything she wanted first.

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