WHEN HE DOESN’T CALL
You
met a great guy. Perhaps you went out a few times. Maybe you thought something
would really come out of this relationship, then, he doesn’t call. First, it is
a couple of days, a week, maybe even three weeks. It’s obvious he’s not
calling. Many women will immediately call him, an awkward conversation ensues,
then he immediately blocks her number.
It
is possible he lost your number, but it is rather rare. Most men have the
woman’s number in their cell phone or it’s attached to the email you sent him.
He could have written it down somewhere on a calendar or a scrap of paper.
Still if you believe he lost it or you feel like being pro-active, then text
him, don’t call. If you call, you may slip into a whiny attitude and attack him
for not calling. A text can be short, even flirty, but should never mention he
didn’t call. Instead, it reminds him there is a fun female out there he might
want to see again. It also allows you to save face too.
Why
hasn’t he called since you thought everything was working out so well? There is
a chance he felt things were moving too fast. You made the mistake of calling
him your boyfriend, and mentioned introducing him to friends. You may have
talked about the future. You know what I mean. Those questions about what type
of house does he wants to live in, and what neighborhood, as in the two of you.
Even men intent on marrying tend to get nervous when those questions come up.
Maybe
you were feeling so close and personal that you confessed some fairly intimate
details. Could have been the tequila talking, but you still revealed you
cheated on your last boyfriend. Your personal sin could have been stealing from
your company, or that you fake orgasms. Whatever it is, your current date didn’t
like it, and has deleted your name from his phone. There really are no do-overs
because it will stick in his mind.
Have
you ever gone out with a guy and the longer you dated him the less you liked
him? You come to the point where you decide never to see him again. Happens to
guys too, but with technology being what it is they just cut all contact. He
doesn’t call, text, or email. This is his message that things aren't working
out. You represent too many “can’t tolerate” as opposed to “must have” on his
list of girlfriend qualities. He didn’t know this initially, but found out
through various scenarios. One male co-worker informed me that women will keep
up a façade for as long as 90 days, before exposing their real self. I noticed
that was the length of most of his relationships.
He
doesn’t call because he is busy with an old girlfriend or ex-wife. Nothing
makes a man look more delicious than being involved with another woman. Often
it brings out the competitive spark. Some men decide to date to encourage the
jealousy spark. It doesn’t matter who started the fire--all you need to know is
they’re having a bonfire, and you’re not invited.
You
may have read the signs wrong entirely. He may not even consider that you’re
dating. Do you only talk at work? Did you share a cup of coffee or a meal with
other people? Did he ask for your number? Did you offer it without him asking?
Many men will take your number with no intention of calling you. They think it
is the polite thing to do. Some men will even ask for your number as a way of
ending the conversation with no desire to follow up with a call.
Then
there is the guy who calls infrequently, maybe every two months. He’s not a man
who squires you around to the finer establishments. In fact, he’s good with
grabbing a pizza and hanging out at your house. You think you have a
relationship because you share some sack time. You are a friend with benefits.
As one of my high school students put it, a FWB is someone you wouldn’t be seen
in public with, but puts out. How do you know if you’re a FWB? Does he NOT
introduce you to his friends, or family? Are you NOT seen in public at high
profile events? Does he call you sporadically and want to drop by? If so, then
you are.
Then
there is the guy who is already in a relationship. He flirts with you because
it feeds his ego. Even though he took your number, he has no plans to call you.
Maybe he bet his friends that he could get five women’s number before the night
was over. In the end, if he did call, you’d probably become a friend with
benefits. Maybe you flatter yourself and declare that you can take him away
from his current girlfriend or wife. Maybe you can, but then you only have a
man who will leave you eventually too.
You
met him. Both of you felt an amazing connection. You jumped into bed
immediately and it was great, and yet no call. He has moved onto a new
challenge (read: new female.) Men do not feel the same attachment after sex
that women do. Often, they feel no attachment at all in early stages of dating--that’s
why he doesn’t call.
In
the end, if he doesn’t call, move on. He is giving you a powerful message--the
biggest one is that he’s not that into you. The second message is that he’s
just rude. If he ever does call, act confused, make him repeat his name, then
pause, as if thinking who he might be. A man can’t pursue a woman who is
chasing him. Yyou have to decide if he is worth giving another chance. Keep in
mind if he disappeared off the radar screen once, he could do it again.
From a guys point of view, sometimes men will take your number but still be on the fence about whether to call or not... they need to go home and sleep on it to try to decide whether to pursue or not... if you're at all interested, then please text... it's all the encourgement that men need... you'll be surprised how well it works...
ReplyDeleteI'll keep this is mind, Herr Stamm, when that special someone doesn't call. Thanks.
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