Friday, August 31, 2012

Overlooked Men

Don’t you just hate it when someone stereotypes you? I used to be a pastor’s wife. Believe me I was pegged as being straitlaced and no fun. People acted peculiar around me afraid to take a drink or tell a racy joke. They didn’t allow themselves to act normal.  I never got to know them, and they certainly never knew me.

Often we overlook wonderful men because we put them in a stereotype box. It also happens to be a box we don’t find particularly appealing. It is probably one that doesn’t fit. Engineers for example are deemed to be boring, overly picky, and nerdy. You imagine some guy with coke bottle glasses and a pocket protector. Not many women care for that.

In my family alone, I have many engineers who all happen to be male. They are tall, good looking men who can tell a joke, and always open a door for a woman. They are intelligent, considerate men. They even dress well. They don’t seem like the caricature that is drawn of engineers. That’s why I wasn’t put off by the idea of marrying an engineer; which, turned out to be my smartest life choice yet.

Short guys are often overlooked. Having longer legs does not guarantee better manners or personality. The shorter guy is well aware he is at a disadvantage and works harder to be charming. If you can accept you may always be the same height or taller, then there is a world of guys waiting for you. The man has to be able to accept that his date will be taller than him. Recently while attending a concert at the racetrack, I watch the fit, handsome jockeys flirt with taller, but very interested females. These were men who knew romance would come in a taller package.

Shy guys don’t normally attract attention. They can be just as fine as chatty Romeo, but they hang back unsure of their reception. Truth is you may have to approach the shy guy. Do not assume he will be unreceptive. Sometimes it takes work to bring a shy guy out of his shell, but it is well worth it.  A shy guy will be much more romantic than you ever dreamed. He has had plenty of time to think of romantic scenarios while working up his courage to ask a female out. He will also be much more loyal. This is a rare quality in an atmosphere filled with online cheating sites.

Bad dressers are discounted because they are bad dressers. Not all men have a sense of style. Color blindness is a male trait. Men also do not find fashion that important. Those who do value fashion highly will not value you. Most men would love some assistance in the wardrobe department. Be gentle at first or he will think you are rejecting everything about him.

Men outside your racial group are sometimes considered taboo, but could be your next best thing. This is tricky, though. You might love the guy, but find his cultural norms too restrictive. You may not know this from the onset, but may have to rethink things as the relationship develops. Men born in the United States will usually have the same cultural background. If you embrace his old world style of thinking, then maybe you might go for being treated like precious crystal.

 Chubby guys get the friend treatment. He’s a great friend, but I can’t see myself going out with him. Wow, this is an unbelievable waste of resources in a country known for its obesity. Ironically, chubby women don’t want to be seen with chubby guys either. People tend to think they take on the characteristics of whoever they are dating. It doesn’t work like that. You can get to know a wonderful person, and, who knows you could get in shape together.

Ever have a much younger guy or older guy flirt with you. At first, you might have wondered about their eyesight. Their eyesight was fine, and so was their attitude.  They saw you and liked what they saw.  They didn’t see any age barriers. I have friends who have married men much older and younger than they were. At first, they had doubts, but overcame them as they fell in love with their future spouse.

There are plenty of men that are perfect for you, unfortunately if you don’t widen your horizons you’ll never meet them. There really is no reason for you to be alone, unless that’s what you want.


  1. Well said! I hate to admit... I'm guilty of making snap decisions. Love to be proven wrong! I am working on this!

  2. You and me both, I've had friends marry men a couple decades older, and some a couple decades younger, but in the end they all were happy.