Thursday, February 7, 2013

What You Need To Know To Rock Valentine's Day

According to recent polls, 53% of women declared they would dump their current squeeze if he didn’t get the right gift. I do hope these women weren’t married. Still, what is the right gift?

Flowers are always a standby. Proflowers, a flower delivery, conducted a recent poll, which showed only 18% of women wanted red roses from their significant other. Ironically, they did find out 14% of the women who receive flowers on Valentine’s Day send them to themselves. No reason not to if you want to guarantee a nice bouquet on Valentine’s Day.

Flowers can be dicey because they actually have meaning behind them, and not the pretty-and-smell-good meaning. Red roses equal love, while lavender means you’re falling in love.  Yellow indicates friendship, while the exotic black rose is sometimes a sign of the end of a relationship. Most men are unaware of the connotations of getting the wrong color. The wrong color might be your only choice too.

Even the numbers are significant. A single rose is supposed to indicate love at first sight. Unfortunately, your gal or guy might just think you’re cheap. The grouping of 108 roses is equivalent to a marriage proposal.

A dozen roses usually runs $75-90 in the United States on Valentine’s Day. Keep in mind; this is the biggest florist delivery day. Your order might not be delivered, or not be the quality you want, and then you have the women who don’t want flowers.  What’s a guy to do?

Many men resort to jewelry. Women like jewelry, right? Seems like a safe bet. Most single women in a relationship expect a ring on Valentine’s Day. You’ve just entered another gift giving minefield. Most women prefer to pick out their own ring, but they still want the proposal on bended knee with a ring. Most jewelers understand, and will let you return the ring for a different one. The jewelers believe that once the woman is in the store they can sell up. The woman places more significance on the ring than the man does.

Caution to the men and women too: just because your partner wants to be engaged on Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean you should, if you’re not feeling it. Been dating for over two years, and you haven’t proposed? There’s a reason for it. Often people who feel pushed into a proposal are resentful. It certainly doesn’t make for a good marriage. Think out this decision carefully. Your sweetheart can keep the ring, leaving you out a couple thousand. If she gives it back, the jeweler will offer you store credit of a tiny percentage of what you paid to buy it back. Guys never think you can give it to another woman, major bad Karma.  If you are thinking jewelry and aren’t ready for a major commitment, go with earrings, diamonds or pearls. Those are always nice.

Often men think lingerie is a great gift. How well do you know the woman? If you aren’t intimate, this is a quick way to end the relationship. Even if you are intimate, so many things could go wrong. The wrong size can indicate either she’s too heavy or you’re thinking of a previous girlfriend. Wrong style or selection can be perceived as skanky or even too sedate. If you’re sweetie doesn’t already wear something similar, it means she probably won’t. A gift certificate to Victoria Secret would work better. Not all women like lingerie because they see it as manipulation. They see the man providing a tiny scrap of lace and satin in hopes of getting amazing sex. What the woman wants is validation of your love.

Whoa!. What does that look like? It depends on your mate or girlfriend. What does she like or need? Some women would be appreciative of a card with a dinner out. Others might appreciate help around the house and a romantic stroll. Most women aren’t exactly secret in their desires. In fact, they may have been hinting for a while that they wanted to see a particular play, go dancing, or get away to some place exotic.

Money is often the issue. Let your sweetie know how you feel by writing her a love letter, a poem, or even a song. You might want to bypass the song if this isn’t your talent. Think of ways to show your love. It might be cooking dinner. What does a married woman want for this holiday? According to Huffington Post, little things can show your love, such as restaurant reservations, help around the house and sleep.

Ask before you assume anything. Don’t worry about surprises. It isn’t better to do the right thing than be surprised when she doesn’t like your gift. Women often equate your failure to do the right thing as to not caring. Yes, this is true. From her viewpoint, she has told you several times in your relationship her favorite things. Where you listening? You didn’t realize then that you were supposed to be putting that information into your phone? Too much stress on the gift may be one reason so many couples break up before Valentine’s Day.

Ladies, keep in mind that your boyfriend, partner, or companion is trying. I know plenty of women who continually scorned their husbands’ gifts. Know what they’re getting this year? Nothing--the same as they did last year. It saves the husband time and money and facing contempt for his efforts. Appreciate the effort.

I know it seems overwhelming, but please don’t blow off the day. The candy, card, and floral industry has inflated the importance of Valentine’s Day to a pinnacle event. This is the reason so many women want to be married, or at least proposed to, on Valentine’s Day. It doesn’t make the marriage any sweeter, but it does make for a romantic retelling.

Another caution: consider where your relationship is currently when gifting. If you’ve only had a few dates, showing up with two dozen roses, and a diamond necklace is not appropriate. Someone you’re casually dating might merit something like a funny card (not insulting) and a night out.

All she really wants to know is how important she is in your life. If she isn’t, why are you two together in the first place?



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