Sunday, March 10, 2013

Common Online Dating Mistakes

When I started looking at Common Dating Mistakes, I kept hearing the word “Zoosk”. Zoosk is a Facebook app that allowed Facebook followers to meet for free. It does not screen out inappropriate people the way other services did. It is full of bogus profiles because the service appears to be rather popular with the younger set that have no intention of meeting, but rather enjoy interacting online. Now it runs $30 for a membership. The comments from members were difficult to read due to inability to write well, and others were just spam. Zoosk might be just another dating site mistake, but what mistakes do men and women make?

Ladies, the cleavage baring shots might get you a date, but that’s only because they think you’re offering. Men who are interested in a relationship do not want a woman who dresses like a skank, but men interested in a one night stand do. What message do your pictures give?

Despite buying a pricey online dating membership, you’re still spending nights watching reruns. You might be waiting for Prince Charming to contact you. It doesn’t hurt to wink online, it is flirty, but doesn’t come on too strong. Are you not winking because you can’t find any six foot guys with a full head of hair?

On a matchmaker site that promises to match you up to your perfect match, I noticed the wedding photos featured average looking grooms. Some were short, a few had receding hairlines, another few had large noses, and one carried some extra weight. The women were head over heels in love because they were able to find their match when they gave up the male model ideal. Give shorter and hair challenged men a chance.

Women often lie about their age in profiles. It will come out eventually, maybe inadvertently, but then it just makes you a liar. If you are afraid a man might not go out with you because you’re older, lying doesn’t change his attitude. It only delays the inevitable dumping.

Men make major online dating mistakes too. The bathroom mirror photo is probably one of the most glaring. Have your friends or relatives take your photos, or pop into an Olan Mills or department store photo studio for a decent photo.

Some guys will complain they’re no poet or writer. Their misspelled words, poor grammar and sentence construction demonstrate this. Please check your profile for mistakes and reread your emails before pushing send. You need to include a question to give the woman a reason to respond. Saying you got her email will not do it. This is your only chance to make a good impression.

Sometimes men have a list a yard long of deal breakers based on a previous relationship. The man’s ex was a brunette so he refuses to date any brunettes. Often this happens when a man insists on dating immediately after a breakup.

The man suggests a date. It can be anything from coffee to a walk in the park. A man should always pay on the first date, unless the woman arm wrestles him for the right. If a man doesn’t pay, he is almost written off as cheap or rude, especially with women over thirty. As a relationship progresses, there can be trade off on expenses.

Sometimes, the date went well. You both seemed to click, but the guy fails to close the deal. He may have read somewhere to play it cool and not to call for a few days or even a week. This would be a huge mistake. Most women who still will go out with a man after such disrespect are needy. Call within twenty-four hours. Text to say you had a great time. Leave the response up to her, don’t keep texting.

Don’t mention your ex on a date. Sounds like stupid advice, but plenty of people chatter on about their ex.  Badmouthing your ex will not make your date feel good. She may have only caught the word model when you described how bad she was. It also makes you sound bitter and disagreeable. Isn’t a date to learn more about each other? Talking about failed relationships makes you sound like a loser.

I often wonder if online dating is about us trying to cull out all the unsuitable prospects. In what we now refer to as classic or traditional dating, we often go out with people we  know little about, and discover who they are through dating. Online dating tends to make us over analytical, trying to read meaning into badly lit photos, profile descriptions or even a misspelled word.

It would be wonderful if we could pick out a soul mate as if picking out paint chips. Often the one that you thought was best proves different in person. Sometimes, we are too quick to reject people without giving them a fair shot. An average person makes a mental decision if they are attracted to a person in one second. Ironically, the person they thought was originally hot begins to cool once they get to know him or her better.


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