Friday, December 6, 2013

Men: Are You Scaring Off Your Dates?

Look Familiar?

Getting the first date isn’t that hard, especially if you’re online. Besides, you’ve probably already heard about the women who only go out on first dates to score meals. You might hook up with one of these. She’s very particular about what restaurants she wants to go to and it's not going to be cheap. She eats all her food, or boxes up her meal to go. Sometimes she spends more time communicating with her phone than you. If she doesn’t want to see you again, that’s no real loss.

What if you met a woman, you picked the restaurant, and it seemed liked you clicked, but no second date materialized. What now?

It could be her, not you. She could be trying out a number of men and someone suited her better than you did. She may have gone back to her ex or husband. There could have been something about you that reminded her of her ex. Then again, it might have been you.

Things that Kill the Possibility of Getting a Second Date
1.       Compliment Overkill- women like compliments, but too many sound insincere. They are well aware that they aren’t wonderful at everything. Three compliments is a good number, one at the start, middle, and end usually works.

2.       Bursting their Personal Bubble-this is a guy who breaks the two feet space boundary immediately. Take a cue from your date.  Some people are more standoffish than others are. It isn't necessarily a good idea to kiss or hug your date on introduction. They probably won’t tell you it makes them uncomfortable, but it could nix a future pairing.

3.       Being Mr. Somber certainly brings down a date.  You may not be a naturally jovial guy, but find a few light hearted topics.

4.       Keep your quirky interests hidden on the first couple of dates. Women are trying to decide if they want to see you again. Your desire to visit old graveyards stirs up memories of old horror movies.

5.       Don’t show off. Some men make the mistake of thinking a date is a job interview and promote themselves endlessly. Unfortunately, this makes you seem like a boring bag of hot air. It’s her job to ask you questions about you.

6.       Bad manners- I realize everyone was brought up differently, but keep a few no-no’s in mind. Don’t eat off her plate. Don’t talk with your mouth full. Tame the burping and farting. Be nice to service people. Don't text during your date either.

7.        Cheapskate-I do realize people are what they are, but excessive cheapness is a turnoff. First dates are not the place for coupon use or expecting to go Dutch.

8.       Don’t bring up sex on the first date-while you might expect sex to be part of your relationship, all she hears is it’s the only thing that matters to you.

9.       Being too needy-this is keeping up a barrage of calls and texts after one date.

Often you’ll never know why a woman refuses a second date. You’ve checked the list and found you aren’t guilty of any of the suspect behaviors. Let it go, not everyone belongs together. It's as simple as that.

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