Sunday, April 28, 2013

Laughter as a Dating Gauge

Many women will be attracted to a man, who makes them laugh. He is able to tap into the happy, carefree experience that women want to feel.  Any average-looking guy can wow a woman with humor. Type in something about making your date laugh and you’ll get tons of results.  A man should know a couple things. There are different types of laughter that signal different feelings.

First dates often solicit nervous laughter. This can be the result of not knowing the person and not knowing how to act. Women will often resort to nervous laughter when in awkward situations or embarrassed. An example of this is when a male model for the art class drops his robe. It can also be a reaction to an inappropriate question. It doesn’t mean the woman is enjoying herself. This type of laughter is usually sudden and short.

Polite laughter is what you do to please people. Your boss or friend tells a joke and you laugh even if it wasn’t that funny. A woman often laughs in respect to how attracted she is to a man. If she really likes him, she’ll laugh often and loud. The decibel level does two things. It keeps the man’s attention on her. In a very primitive sense, it warns off other women. Shrieking primates warn off possible invaders that might infringe on their territory. It's the same with women. Laughter is aggressive. The baring of teeth along with high pitch barking laugh can scare away people too. This is part of the psychology of laughter.

Inuits used to use laughter when trying a person of crimes. The more intense the laughter the more likely you’d be declared the victor. It paid to have good comedic timing if you also had a larcenous nature.

Cruel laughter is hard to explain, but you know when you’ve been a victim of it. Those funniest home video where the guys are usually hit in the groin is an example of cruel  laughter. Generally, it is a sign of relief that something bad happened to someone else as opposed to you. It is also a sign of immaturity.

 Laughter is also used as a tool to keep men at arm's length. No man wants to be ridiculed.  Laughter serves as confirmation to a stated opinion. A date might say your joke was cheesy, then laugh. She is agreeing with herself and by laughing it gives her original statement more credibility.

Women laugh differently with friends than with dates. If a woman feels safe with friends, she might engage in the belly laugh. A laugh so free and uninhibited that tears roll down her face. Does your date ever laugh like this? Don’t expect it on the first couple of dates. If she does laugh in this manner, trust is developing which is a great sign.

The snorting laugh is not as uncommon as you think. A third of laughers learn to laugh keeping their mouth closed, which causes a snorting response.  If you honestly believe you cannot ever love a snorter, give it up early because you will not reteach him or her how to laugh differently. Instead, you will cause them not to laugh at all.

Good time laughter is probably the best laughter of all. This is spontaneous, free flowing, and can occur anywhere.  It could happen on an amusement park ride, on the dance floor, or even over dinner. It usually is mid-range laughter with the person appearing relaxed. It is not drawing attention to itself, but simply is. Keep in mind, some women do laugh during sex as an expression of joy, not as a critique.

If your date isn’t chuckling, does that mean he or she hates you? Nope, not everyone is a laugher or even has a sense of humor. There could be a chance you erred in what you thought was an appropriate joke. The funny PETA joke that had all your co-workers chuckling isn’t funny to your date who is a PETA supporter. Best bet is self-depreciating humor. It works best because you don’t have to worry about any taboo subjects. As you learn, more about your date you’ll find out what she thinks is funny.

Getting the man to laugh is not as easy as you think. Comedian Susan Prekel admits in Scientific American that seeing an attractive single man in the audience causes her heart to sink. The reason is women love it when men make them laugh, and often swarm the male comedian after the show. Not so with female comedians and their male audience. It is almost as if men guard their laughter as something precious, refusing to give it out to strange women.

Men will laugh a great deal with other men, even men they don’t know, by using universal themes such as bosses, women and sex for fodder. Even a man who seems at ease is seldom as comfortable as a woman might think.  A man on a date is the equivalent to a man on a job interview.  Even if your friends tell you that you crack them up, but your date remains stone-faced, do not take it personally. Men and women find different things funny. A woman might be using her best material, but it needs a female audience. A man might like you even though he isn’t laughing. He may be too busy trying to remember conversational topics to respond to yours.

The worst type of laughter on a date is drunken laughter. It isn’t about you at all. You’ve encountered a silly drunk who even thinks the names of entrees are giggle-worthy. Think twice before dating this person again. Most people are aware enough not to drink too much in an effort to make a good impression. Your date doesn’t care about making a good impression, but would rather drink to get drunk, which isn’t a laughing matter.

The next time your date laughs, don’t consider yourself an automatic shoo-in. It is better to figure out what he or she is laughing about. Better yet, do you feel comfortable enough around your date to laugh? If your date shows signs of being embarrassed because of your laugh, realize yours will never be a comfortable relationship where you can laugh so hard tears flow. Laughter releases endorphins, which helps make the relationship a positive one.   

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