A recent letter
by Princeton Alum has made some women hopping mad. The reason is this mother of
two sons is advising female Princeton students to grab a husband fast before
they graduate. This reminds me of women going to school to get their MRS degree.
Women often never graduated from college because they landed a husband before their
senior year. They got the designation in front of their name instead after it.
Let’s look at Susan Patton’s
advice. After commending the young women on going to Princeton, she then tells
them to get ready to snag a man because no place will have as many potential
candidates in one spot. In truth, she’s
right about that. Women and men trying to date after college have trouble
finding like-minded people. Colleges amaze me because they are seas teaming
with available prospects.
Susan goes on
to confide that women don’t necessarily want the stellar career exclusively,
but value home and family more. In the
end, a good marriage makes life better. You’ll get the good marriage if you
marry one of your own kind, a Princeton grad. The
Christian Monitor revealed in their follow up to the article that Mrs.
Patton recently was divorced from her husband of twenty-seven years. Her main complaint
was her husband attended a no name university, which was a constant source of
strife. This is an area of strife. Unbelievable.
Patton goes on
to warn the female students to get out there and make their choices quick
because unlike the male students they cannot date anyone younger. Why is that?
Plenty of women marry younger men. It would seem that Ms. Patton wants a
traditional marriage where the man is the major bread earner. Why get married
at twenty, twenty-one or even twenty-two? Can you remember how young you were at these
ages? Where you ready for marriage?
Professionals
are marrying later and later. The average age for men is about 28.5, while
women wait until they’re at least 26.7. These are averages. Another interesting
statistic is that women who marry early tend to cheat more because they feel
they missed out.
If your main
reason to go to college is to hunt down a man, would you be getting the college
experience? Would you devote as much time to your studies as you should? I
think we all know the answer to this.
Ms. Patton inadvertently
advises women against working on their own identities. If you aren’t enough,
then you will end up with a partner who treats you in such a fashion. In her scenario,
Princeton men are the ultimate prize. She tantalizes the readers with the
information she still has an unmarried son in Princeton. I bet he’s getting
some blowback from this article.
I think what
offends me is the elitist tone of the article. The implication being if you
went to Harvard, Columbia, MIT, or heaven forbid, a state college, then you
aren’t good enough to rate a Princeton gal. Add to that Princeton men are
little more than big game as intrepid female hunters set their lures to catch
the unwary prey.
Ms. Patton
doesn’t address the fact that not all women want to have children, many do not
want to marry, and there are some female students who’d like to marry, but not
men. The world is changing. What used to
be the pinnacle of success, no longer is.
The other
night, I watched the original Twilight Zone. The episode featured a beautiful
woman who was attempting to land a husband, which she did. The husband became dissatisfied
because the women had no substance, and no beliefs, no interests outside of him. It
was hard for me to believe such a creature existed at one time.
Reviewing Census Records shows
most marriages do last at least five years. The Census status also shows a
decline in marriage because people do not want to deal with the headaches of
divorce. Michelle Langley,
author of Women’s Infidelity, states
that while women push for the commitment they also initiate 70% of the divorces
after only four years of marriage. Why? Maybe marriage or marriage to that
person wasn’t what they really wanted.
As women, we tend to go after what is dominant
in the public eye. That’s why you have advertisements, fashion shows, even
movies to encourage pursuing and often buying certain things, even if they aren’t
in your best interest. Women often marry without ever realizing what they really
want or need.
Ms. Patton and
I have that in common. She believed her marital mistake resulted in not
marrying a Princeton grad. Mine was marrying too early and not knowing the man
I married. Thank goodness, I became smarter with age.
If you had
advice for your women entering college or contemplating marriage, what would it
be?
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